No Friends. My Depression is coming back. Please, ANY Advice?

[ImALoser]

I just want to thank you in advance if you actually read this. You don't know how much I appreciate it.

I'm 15 and I don't really have any friends. I have people that I sit with at school but they don't really seem like friends, not close friends anyway. I'm not hated by everyone it just seems no one really likes me that much and couldn't care less about me. It sometimes bothers me that I don't have any friends and other times I'm really strong about it and I'm like "The only person I need is myself". I keep repeating that phrase over and over again to myself, but I can't help but to get a bit lonely at times. I just came out of a very long depression, I lost all of my friends when I was in my depression because I hardly talked to anyone I was so sad. I used to get bullied really bad and I cut myself sometimes, and I would starve myself, and I was going to kill myself, but at this point in my life and I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I'm finally learning to accept me for who I am, and I'm focusing on my recovery, but when I look at my calendar and see how I never have any plans, it kind of makes me sad again. I am really happy when I'm alone, sometimes I prefer to be alone, but I think it would be much better to have friends. Someone to call on a Friday night or a Saturday and say "Let's hang out". I feel like my depression is coming back because I spend so much time alone in the weekends, over vacations, ect. I'm close with my mom, but she's not interested in the same things I am, we're opposites. I don't have a relationship with my dad anymore. I just feel like a loser, I just want to cry, Have nobody to talk to or have fun with. When I see people my age laughing and having fun at lunch while I'm sitting alone, it makes me so sad. I just want to be a part of something. I want to know how to make friends with people you already know a little. Like at school and stuff. Why is it no one wants to be friends with me? I'm into the same stuff as people my age and I don't feel much different from everyone else yet I feel so far away from everyone. It's just like my heart is so empty. I have nobody to hug or cry to when I'm sad. Please anyone, just one answer would help me. Is there anyone else out there like me? Because if there was it would make me feel so much better. idk what to do any help would be nice, Thank you so much.

xoxoxo
Lex

[onta]

Hey there

I know what you going through And it really does suck having no one you can talk to or trust. I find it hard to make friends because i find it hard to Trust people but really all you need to do is be yourself, act like you normally do, say hi to people and be friendly. Your not alone.

Onta

[Lynnski1]

Hey Lex,

You are definitely not alone! I completely understand how you are feeling as when I was your age I always felt like I just didn't fit in. Everyone was in some kind of group or click and I would look at them and think to myself "I don't belong in that group either." I had a really hard time in high school as I only had one or two friends.

I always longed to have a BFF like you mentioned, someone to just hang out with or someone I could talk to. I understand you are feeling lonely. You mentioned that you feel as though your depression is coming back so the very first bit of advice I would like to give to you is to either go pay a visit to the doctor! If you are on any type of medications, now might be a good time for him or her to check the dosage. If you are not currently seeing a therapist, it might be a good idea to see your family physician and talk about seeing a therapist. Depression is a horrible feeling and I want you to know that there is help for it! You are definitely not alone.

When it comes to making friends, that can be hard. But you must know that doing nothing about it is not going to help. You need to take a deep breath and "get out there!" You may want to start by actually looking for a job that has few hours so that you may earn alittle extra cash, still have time for school, and also get to meet people! You may also go to your local YMCA and see if they need volunteers. Another idea is to volunteer helping others whether it be through a church or local community center. You will find that by helping others, you actually help yourself. The feeling you get making other people happy tends to pick up your spirits.

I know you can do this! Keep in touch.

Mrs. A.