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Telling my therapist about my Depression, & Suicidal Thoughts
So, tomorrow I go to my therapist for non-related reasons.
I really want to tell someone,but I can never get myself to tell someone,/I always make up excuses for not telling her tell myself "next time", or I don't need to tell, & other excuse. Then I always get scared to tell my therapist, & I can never get myself to tell. So, if someone has pointer on telling her, that would be wonderful. I have been suffering with depression for almost two years. It just isn't getting better. I'm just keep on going downhill, & nothing seems to be getting better. I usually am depressed most of day, sometimes all of the day. I don't know when I was happy last. It just sucks. I can't even have fun anymore, I do not enjoy anything anymore, I really don't have a joy in my life. Which just makes me more depressed. My depression just makes so exhaust doing the littlest thing takes a lot of work. A huge reason why I am not motivated to do my homework, or anything for school. Because of my depression, & who severe it can get. I have suicidal thoughts. They just aren't thoughts, I am actually contemplating suicide. Whenever something goes bad I want to kill myself, & go through with my plan. I have "researched" methods(that was a month or two ago). Somedays, It can be so hard to make it though out the day, I don't know if I can make. If I tell her I am dealing with depression, but I don't say anything about wanting to kill myself: Will she have to tell anyone? Or will it stay confidential? What will she do if I tell her? Now, If I told her about my suicidal thoughts, & that I did have a plan: What she have to do? Does anyone have to know? |
Re: Telling my therapist about my Depression, & Suicidal Thoughts
I think that maybe one thing you can do is write a letter out before you go and put it in your pocket. That way, it's with you already, already written, already to be presented to her, so all you have to do is hand it to her. Or, you can say right off the bat "I have something to say" so you won't be able to back out. If you have her email address, this is another option. You can email her letting her know you have something you need to talk about in your appointment. There's still a chance she'll check her email before her appointment, but if not at least you still may want to bring it up.
I think that here's the thing with suicidal thoughts: If your therapist has reason to believe you would go through with suicide, such as by mentioning you have a plan, she may have to tell in order to keep you safe. If you just mention you have suicidal thoughts without mentioning you have a plan, she may use her own discretion, but it is up to the individual therapist. If you say you have been dealing with depression but don't say anything about wanting to kill yourself, she may be more likely to keep it confidential unless she has a reason to believe you'll be unsafe. But, I recommend being honest with her, that's how you get the most help! :) |
Re: Telling my therapist about my Depression, & Suicidal Thoughts
Hey there,
I think Dez's idea of writing a letter is a really good idea. I know that when I have a topic I want to discuss with my therapist and I am uneasy about mentioning it I will write it down. Once I have it written down I will read it to her and it is a whole lot easier to talk about. I know that discussing this topic with your therapist will be hard but I think it would be really good for you to do. You therapist will be able to help you work on getting to a better place. I am not 100% sure what things your therapist would have to disclose. I think if you were to tell her you were having suicidal thoughts she would be able to keep that confidential. I know my therapist keeps the fact that I have made plans to commit suicide confidential but I am an adult so the rules for adults and adolescents are probably different. If you are unsure of what she has to report you could talk to her about that and go from there. However, I think it is imperative that you confide in her about your thoughts so that you can work on getting to a better place. If you need anything please feel free to message me. |
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