Triggering (Suicide): Family causes my depression

[dogdaysarehere]

I have had near-suicide attempts quite a few times recently. And my family never has known about them or my depression. I cry while writing this, because my family doesn't know that they are the cause. My parents, well, my dad has anger issues and my mom blows up at me all the time. So I keep myself locked up in my room with my music up loud so they won't hear me crying (they would demand to know why and then make me feel worse). Then they wonder why I keep to myself all the time and get mad at me for my antisocial-ness around them. But why would I want to subject myself to hurtful words that make me feel like crap all the time? I just don't know what to do anymore and I can't turn to my friends because they would tell their parents who would tell mine. My parents would get pissed for never telling them. Plus, my family can't afford counseling help or anything, what with my dad not having a job and all. My only comfort is my dog. And skittles really only hangs out around my dad. What do I do? I feel lost and depressed.

[Pirouette]

Hey there,
I'm sorry to hear you're family treats you that way. You don't deserve it at all! Have you ever thought about telling a close friend who might be able to help you through this or maybe another adult? For instance, if you have a teacher, coach, or someone that you're really close with, you could try telling them about what's going on.

I know how frustrating it gets when you tell parents that they are the cause of your depression and the yelling and all that, but there's a way it could all be resolved. You need to speak to someone about this whether it be to your friends or perhaps your school counselor. I hope this helps and good luck!

~Rishy

[Chris]

Hey, there.

I'm really sorry to hear about the recent situations you have been in. I too, have came from an abusive household (both verbally and physically) so I can relate to your situation. From the sound of it, it sounds like there is a communication breakdown within your household. What I mean by that is I bet you don't really talk to anyone in the house, and when you do it's not in a positive way (i.e., yelling, screaming, arguing, etc). Now, trust me, I am in no way blaming you for your situation, but have you ever tried to sit down your family (namely your parents) and tell them how you feel, how their words hurt, and how things are falling apart in your life? If you haven't, then I would most certainly recommend you starting there. Communication is the #1 key to solving most problems.

If after having a serious and adult-like conversation the verbal/emotional abuse continues, then it's time to seek some outside help. If you currently go to school, you can talk to the school counselor/social worker (for free). If you don't know who that is, ask a teacher to guide you in the right direction. If the school doesn't have a counselor/social worker (which is very unlikely), then go and talk to a trusted teacher, principal, or school administrator. If you don't currently go to school (or are home-schooled), then try to reach out to a trusted neighbor (adult), local police officer, firefighter, doctor, nurse, or anyone you feel comfortable with talking too. These are the people that can help you during your time of need.

I truly hope that you will be able to solve the issues by yourself (i.e., by talking to your parents), but if not, then it's in your best interest to seek outside help.


Best wishes,
Chris