Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Depression

[Eliza_]

Hi, so this is the first time I've ever wrote on a help website but I need help and I need to know I'm not going crazy!! I have been suffering from anxiety disorders and depression for about 4 years now (my parents divorced when I was 6 and my granny whom I was very close with died 4 years ago which I think triggered it). It always gets worse at the start of each year when I'm starting something new. I have started college and am I'm week 6 and am really struggling with being a way from home.. I cry a lot and get several panic attacks thinking about where I am.
Last night I was at home and my whole family got together for dinner for my birthday and out of nowhere I got the worst panic attack I've ever gotten. I couldn't even stay sitting at the kitchen table when everyone was eating because I thought I was going to be sick. I lay upstairs in bed and couldn't breathe. When I did get up I got extremely dizzy and my vision got blurry. This has never happened to me before. Then wen I tried to go to sleep I couldn't stop shaking and I couldn't breathe properly.. Every time I tried to sleep I woke myself up in a panic...
What I want to know is do you think this was just another panic attack or was it a nervous breakdown?
I'm so embarrassed Im still in bed at one o'clock in the day I don't want to see anyone. And I'm terrified of it happening again.
The panic was a build up of everything.. College, I get anxious when my family get together because I want everyone to get along (even tho I no they do), my emotions being all over the place, and thinking that I'm not ever going to be able to cope with this so is the only resource death. (Even tho I don't want to die)

Ok I think that's it...
Thanks for reading and I'd really appreciate any comments of wisdom

[dragonblood]

Hi, here is my comment of wisdom (yeah...no)
You should probably tell your parents about this, because for one; it's not normal.
You don't need to tell them about your depression only about the panic attacks.

thanks for reading this wisdom filled comment

[cherryqueen1248]

It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life! I can kind of relate, I am also a college student with a pretty messed up family. It can be really hard to balance everything! But you have to know you can't control what happens in your family. You are such a vital part of your family and I'm sure they want nothing more than for you to be happy. Your education is really important, because it will set you up for a really great life!! I don't know how it is at other schools, but at many around where I am from, colleges offer either really cheap or sometimes free mental health services. You can talk to a professional and get help!
I think since you recognize the anxiety and panic attacks, you have accepted it and are really looking to reduce the frequency of it. Which is AWESOME!! Embrace the positive in your life, ask for help when you need it, and know that you are so loved by so many.
Keep smiling! PM me if you ever need anything.

[Azure.]

Hiya!
Welcome to TH! I hope you are finding it helpful. It's great that you reached out for help, it takes a lot of courage to do that and just for the record, you are not crazy. Anxiety is a very common thing to experience.

It sounds like you have been through a lot and I cannot even begin to imagine how hard all of this is for you. You deserve to be happy

I would guess what you experienced was a panic attack, but I can't say for sure. I would highly recommend seeking out professional help for this issue. See if you can meet with a counsellor at school. Being in college, it is best to seek out low cost options. If you talk to a counsellor of some sort, they may be able to help you find a few resources to look into. It is a great thing to have someone to talk to when you are feeling low or anxious about something.

Have you told your parents? I think you should explain to them the difficulties you are having, they may be able to help you. It would also be a good idea to tell them about your anxiety concerning the family getting along. This may help to alleviate your fears, if only a small amount.

Try not to worry about getting another panic attack. It may happen, but worrying will only put added stress on you. If you find yourself experiencing another panic attack, try to relax your muscles. Take deep breaths and focus either on breathing or something calming. Think about something else and relax your body.

I hope you feel better. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Feel free to PM or VM me if you ever want to talk or chat!
Stay strong.
~Nal