School, SH,& Depression

[YoungK9]

Ok, I'm really dreading going back to school.I absolute HATE school, it's one of the main reasons that caused caused me to SH in the first place . I'm afaird that when school starts I'll start SHing again,& when I start again it'll be difficult to stop.

Plus, I don't want to show my SH scars in gym, but we need to wear shorts,& T-shirts. I'm afaird I'll accidentally show my SH scars.I really don't anyone to know I SH. Kinda stuck there.

Reason I mentioned Depression is because whenever I think about school, I get depressed.

Recently I've been having these thoughts of suicide where I'll kill myself before school starts,so I don't need to go -OR- I purposely make non-fatal attempt to get noticed & recive help.

[Philomath]

Hi There,

Why do you hate school? What about school depresses you?
I've noticed that a lot of people hate school, they dread it, it makes them really stressed and the things that stress people about school are things they can change or get help for so that school can be a better place for people.
SH will not solve anything. Neither will killing yourself. You will be done with school one day and you will not have to put up with whatever it is that causes you to hate it so much.
School is temporary, not permanent. It will end, you can get through it (millions of people have and millions more will). You are no exception to being able to survive school.
If you act to fix, or tell people and get their help, for the things that bother you or make school a not so enjoyable place, your outlook may change.
Hope this is helpful.

[YoungK9]

The people at school is why I get depressed.I'm always left out it just makes me feel more worthless.

School will end I know,

[Himitsu]

If you're willing to consider failed suicide to get help, perhaps it is a sign that you should just get help before you scare your loved ones. I know what you're thinking and have thought the same thing myself, but those kind of fantasies are dangerous. As for gym, have you ever seen those compression shorts for athletes? Try slipping on a set under your gym shorts that don't show (at least much) but are tight and won't reveal scars. If anyone asks, say they make you feel more comfortable and since they are athletic gear, no one will make you stop wearing them. (That is, if the scars are on your legs, arms and I couldn't find a solution for that either).
You need to find out what part of school it is that stresses you so much so that you can address it as soon as possible. Stay strong and try to be positive. If you need support, feel free to PM me!

[hocus pocus]

Hey there!

I know how you feel about school, it was one of my biggest triggers. Think of it in the fact that it's a new year, and a new start. And you can do what you want with it School is always stressful and my advice to you is to remember to take care of yourself between studying and everything else. Make sure you do something for yourself each day. As far as gym goes, there are ways that you can hide your scars that won't look suspicious. For your arms, you can wear sweatbands or a sport's jacket. For your legs, someone else mentioned spandex or certain shorts or leggings that you can put underneath. I really think you should reach out for help. It's hard to do, but it's all worth it in the end.

[Philomath]

Originally Posted by YoungK9

The people at school is why I get depressed.I'm always left out it just makes me feel more worthless.

School will end I know,

You have been given some great suggestions about how you can cover up your scars. I hope they are helpful to you.
Does your school have after school programs/activities? Maybe you could join a club or activity that is about something you are interested in. Being with people that have similar interests to you can help with making friends because you can get to know them by starting with talking about your similar interests and then moving on to other topics.

[YoungK9]

Thanks everybody.

I have girl gym teacher,this year. On my arms there pretty bad,& even if I were sweatbands,some will still show.From what I heard the gym teacher,& she is health teacher is very nice. IDK, I'm thinking of talking to her about my SH. But I'm really scared to, I don't want to be told its for attention.I don't want really want to get help,but I do at the same time.

I enjoy being depressed & suicidal,why? I don't know.

I'm just going in downward spiral,it's just getting a lot worse. I'm constantly thinking about suicide.

Hey there,

Is there anyone you could talk to about your depression? I think you should consider reaching out to someone about the way you are feeling so that you could work on getting help for it. I know that might be hard to do but it is a lot better to get help before you end up hurting yourself. Do you know why you are feeling depressed? Is it just because you enjoy feeling this way, as you said, or are there specific reasons?

As for school, would you feel comfortable getting involved in clubs? If you were to get involved you might be able to find kids who include you in things which would lead to you feeling left out less. I know how uncomfortable and upsetting it can be to feel left out however once you find that group of people who will include you it can be great. Also, are the people who are leaving you out supposed to be your friends? If it is friends that are leaving you out you should try talking to them about how you are feeling. Let them know that you feel left out and see how that goes because maybe they don't realize that you are feeling this way and once they do they will make more of an effort to include you.

As for P.E., you could always wear a long sleeve plain white t-shirt. I know there were periods of time when I would wear long sleeve shirts to P.E. It might not have been the most comfortable thing to wear but I felt more comfortable doing that then wearing a regular t-shirt and maybe the same would apply for you?

I hope this helped and wishing you the best of luck.

[YoungK9]

I'm going to be in Best Buddies,which is club for special needs kids. I did it last year & loved it.

We do a lot of swimming in the gym I joined.

I kinda want to tell her but I'm terrified to,& i don't what to say.

Telling my parents? They say its for attention, SH,& that the suicidal thoughts & depression is me overreacting.Not really close to my other relatives,beside my grandma.

One more thing,& it's actually I made reply at 1:40 in the morning.
Kinda of embarrassing... But I just had this huge meltdown. I had this feeling I haven't had before. After, I got extremely depressed,& suicidal.I came close to Suicide,but I didn't. Thankfully, I had no interest in SH.


Thanks everybody for answering,it actually feels like somebody cares,& understand me.

[hocus pocus]

I was in a program just like that!! I had a lot of fun with it

In answer to your questions. I think that teachers, especially gym teachers, tend to see a lot of this. Teachers are there to help you, and I'm sure she'll understand you. You also don't have to say it in person, you can write her a letter. I've done that, and it's really beneficial. I think it'd be a good idea to sit your parents down to explain to them that it's not for attention. Maybe you could tell them your reasoning behind cutting? I'm very glad that you didn't cut.