i dont know anymore , i need help with this..

i've been fine for the past month. well , somewhat. but then me and my ex bryant started dating again. everyone started stuff. & we broke up. well , his cousin ( angel ) actually did it without him knowing at first. he wanted to work everything out..
we started talking about everything, everything was fine. monday came & so did school. he was acting weird. and it didnt really bother me. but now , i just feel numb. its been like this for a few days actually. i told him and its like he didnt even care. he basically did this. he got me out of numb-ness before. and now , here i am. just a few months later numb again.. not knowing what to do. im not completly numb but mostly there.

the last time i felt numb , was when i cutted & smoked and did a buncha stupid stuff. and this is scaring me.. i dont know what to do. my friend is trying to help me but my dad wont let me leave. it kills me to see him with my ex bestfriend ( who got my ex tyler to cheat on me ) anyways. he knows this always. we barely talk now and its killling me inside. i want to break down crying and just lay down and never get up again. i hate this so much. my depression was going away , everything was great. but no , everyone has to hate me at my schoool.

i just.. need help on what i should do with him or my numb-ness. cause , i dont wanna start cutting again , but that might just happen.. /: