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*Triggering* Relapse
Posted May 17th 2013 at 03:55 PM by Troubled_Heart
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Had been what? 2 months since my last cut. About 3 weeks since my last binge. But I lost it today, I mean really lost it.
I don't even know why. I think it's because I've been left home alone for 3 days in a row. The binging, pretty sure that was boredom, I had to punish myself, I mean I HAD to. How could I not. I'm so fat. I can't believe I've let myself get like this. I need to starve. Need this pain from the cuts, don't know why I ever stopped, I deserve every ounce of it. I need it to survive. I cannot eat anything anymore. I must stop stop stop stop stop before I explode. I want to be the skinny me I once was. If only I realised it then.......
Had been what? 2 months since my last cut. About 3 weeks since my last binge. But I lost it today, I mean really lost it.
I don't even know why. I think it's because I've been left home alone for 3 days in a row. The binging, pretty sure that was boredom, I had to punish myself, I mean I HAD to. How could I not. I'm so fat. I can't believe I've let myself get like this. I need to starve. Need this pain from the cuts, don't know why I ever stopped, I deserve every ounce of it. I need it to survive. I cannot eat anything anymore. I must stop stop stop stop stop before I explode. I want to be the skinny me I once was. If only I realised it then.......
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