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I want to cry right now
Posted September 25th 2011 at 07:20 PM by Troubled_Heart
Fuck...
I've just been told that all through October we have £114 to spend on food, petrol and anything else we need like train tickets...
We have £10 max to spend on food a week and I can't run or anything because we need to save the petrol...
Aparently we have to have either cereal or toast (I don't even like the latter) for tea at least every other night and I might not even be allowed fruit in the morning...
It's times like these that I hate my Dad... When it's his fault that we ended up like this, but also how I feel stupid, when I know I can solve this, not only can I make our money ok I can have things that I want to have and even go to uni without causing that much stress...
If I asked to have contact with him, it would only be a matter of time before it was solved... Then again it would hurt ma's feelings big time, and I'm not sure he would want to see me...
I don't know, I just don't know...
I want to know who he is, I want to meet him and know him and stuff... But I don't think he wants to know me and I know he hates my ma and my ma hates him... He lives in France for God's sake... He wouldn't fly over just to see me and a relationship would be so hard... But it would be nice to see him... really cool... And then I'd know where I came from and stuff...
What should I do?
How should I do it?
Am I just a bitch?
I've just been told that all through October we have £114 to spend on food, petrol and anything else we need like train tickets...
We have £10 max to spend on food a week and I can't run or anything because we need to save the petrol...
Aparently we have to have either cereal or toast (I don't even like the latter) for tea at least every other night and I might not even be allowed fruit in the morning...
It's times like these that I hate my Dad... When it's his fault that we ended up like this, but also how I feel stupid, when I know I can solve this, not only can I make our money ok I can have things that I want to have and even go to uni without causing that much stress...
If I asked to have contact with him, it would only be a matter of time before it was solved... Then again it would hurt ma's feelings big time, and I'm not sure he would want to see me...
I don't know, I just don't know...
I want to know who he is, I want to meet him and know him and stuff... But I don't think he wants to know me and I know he hates my ma and my ma hates him... He lives in France for God's sake... He wouldn't fly over just to see me and a relationship would be so hard... But it would be nice to see him... really cool... And then I'd know where I came from and stuff...
What should I do?
How should I do it?
Am I just a bitch?
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