Strong Language... Clinging On

Feeling down, I promised myself I wouldn't do this, I promised I would stay strong, but I'm slipping, slipping big time.
I don't know what to do... I can't stay happy... Something will always bring me fucking down, even if nothing's wrong...
What do i do? I try so fucking hard... I do things I like, but something will make it turn to shit.
I think it was this girl L who brough me down... She invaded running club, somewhere I'm free, away from all the bitches at school... But she decides to join and show me up! She's better than me and she knows it, she's going to make me hate club and tell everyone how shit I am at running.
At least I'm popular there, people like me because I'm happy to walk with them if they're tired.. I have a laugh and put on a happy face She got stuck with these 2 girls, not fun ones, although I was meant to look after her, I was catching up with A and LR instead
I was relieved too, H wasn't there, the one I dated... L knows her from her old school... If she catched on I'm fucking screwed. K wasn't there either which was a shame, I'm only just getting to know her. Ok I'm feeling a bit better, I don't like the people in my class and they're not worth it... And running, when I'm on top form I would be quicker... just because I ran 5 miles yesterday and walked at first with A and some of the boys (LR is a county champion at running and takes it very seriously).
And my confidence was good today... I was in the car with one of the coaches and his son who took me as my mum's in Scotland and I managed to have a strong converstaion with them both ways I wouldn't have been able to do that a month ago so it shows how much I'm growing
Ok... Everything is good now And my ticket to West Ham United is booked So my life is good... It has to be good... I will be happy I promise...