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Must Keep Going, Must Keep Going

Posted July 18th 2011 at 09:36 PM by Troubled_Heart

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I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I know, only 3 more work days, but I don't think I can handle them.
I need to get out, go far away, never return to this awful place.

I can't face the people, the teachers, myself.
I need to stay at home, I need to be alone, I need to help myself and I don't think school will do that.
I need to go to a place, somewhere dark and somewhere alone where I can be me.

I'm not sure I can get through tomorrow, I'm not sure I can make it to 23, it's 7 years... 7 years to get through when 7 days feels like eternity.
I don't know why I keep trying, I don't know why I bother, everything I do makes me feel bad, I can't do anything good.

I can't deal with this, I've turned to burning, no blood makes it easier to hide but the blisters are huge, I'm scared of popping them.
I'm scared of myself, I don't know what I might do, I'm scared I'll push my friends away, I'm scared I'll jump, I'm even scared of people in my set!
I'm scared of embarrasing myself even though I'm already an embarrasment.

I hate this, I hate life, I wish I had never been born!
I wish everything could be good, I wish I was normal, I wish I fitted in, I wish I wasn't such an idiot, a complete and utter failure of a person!

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Comments

1. 	I'm so so sorry you're feeling this way! You are not and idiot; you're caring and nice and wonderful and beautiful! I know the days seem to drag by, but they do start to go by quicker! Especially if you try to not keep track of what the day is. I know you can make it through sweetie! I have faith in you! PM/VM me anytime! Love you lots!<3
   	Posted July 18th 2011 at 10:03 PM by Intoxicated Brutality

Troubled_Heart

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