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SH, ED, OD, Depression... Could Trigger
Posted July 3rd 2011 at 01:58 PM by Troubled_Heart
I'm going to do it... I'm going to admit to myself all my problem... And then they're going to disappear... Everything will be good again... Like when I was young!
Self Harm - The urges are tough, but I try and fight them, I only cut when it's life or death, I get myself low, as low as I can cope, and then I make it better, as better as it can get.
ED - I hide food, I bin food, I pour stuff down the sink, I 'forget' money, I exercise, I will get thin! I can't decide what to eat, I never finish a meal, I eat one thing a day, but the urges scream to me, can't eat, can't go hungry... Hell!
OD - I have pills, perscribed pills, I save them up, untill I have enough, then I take them all at once, and it hurts, my stomach aches, I feel dizzy and I once puked, it worked for a bit!
Depression - I can't be left alone, as soon as I'm alone I feel bad, as soon as I get home it all comes back, the feelings, the hoplessness, the utter doom. All I want to do is top myself, it's all I know! I need to live outdoors, when I forget everything and sometimes actually feel good... The only things that keep me going hardly last, over within a couple of hours, making everything worse than before.
I can't explain how I feel, I'm rubbish with words, but now I said it it should go right? I want it to go! I want to be normal...
Self Harm - The urges are tough, but I try and fight them, I only cut when it's life or death, I get myself low, as low as I can cope, and then I make it better, as better as it can get.
ED - I hide food, I bin food, I pour stuff down the sink, I 'forget' money, I exercise, I will get thin! I can't decide what to eat, I never finish a meal, I eat one thing a day, but the urges scream to me, can't eat, can't go hungry... Hell!
OD - I have pills, perscribed pills, I save them up, untill I have enough, then I take them all at once, and it hurts, my stomach aches, I feel dizzy and I once puked, it worked for a bit!
Depression - I can't be left alone, as soon as I'm alone I feel bad, as soon as I get home it all comes back, the feelings, the hoplessness, the utter doom. All I want to do is top myself, it's all I know! I need to live outdoors, when I forget everything and sometimes actually feel good... The only things that keep me going hardly last, over within a couple of hours, making everything worse than before.
I can't explain how I feel, I'm rubbish with words, but now I said it it should go right? I want it to go! I want to be normal...
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Sweetheart there is no such thing as normal
I know it's hard but keep fighting. You will beat this and you're not alone. I'm always here if you need anything.
I love you <3
Posted July 3rd 2011 at 06:32 PM by Anatidaephobia
