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No title, No me
Posted June 6th 2011 at 08:28 PM by Troubled_Heart
It's not always because I hate myself, not always, it can be because I find myself ok, I know I shouldn't like myself, but sometimes I do, and I know it's wrong, I lie, I'm selfish, I'm week, I'm evil, I'm an attention seeker, nobody likes these things, these things make a bad person. me. I'm a fat ugly horrible person.
My head hurts and I feel sick, a sign that I'm not meant to be.
Y'know I was told today that nobody cares about my life - I thought she was my friend, but that's what she said. The others, they laughed, they agreed, they don't care either. I know they shouldn't care, they should avoid me at all costs, everyone should avoid me, I'm not worthy of friends, of company, of anything, I'm not worthy of help or life, I'm not worth anything.
If I went, just faded the only thing different would be I don't get in the way, I get in the way of everything and everyone, they don't want me, without me they could all have a perfect life. If I went I'd be stronger than all of them, weak to my feeling, strong to the others, they don't understand the pain I feel, the need to be loved, cherished and cared for. I'm not worth the heartache. I don't deserve love, I'd only lie, I lie now. They'd end up hating me, wishing they'd never let me get under their skin and tear them apart. No one likes me now, why should they though? All I have is myself, moaning, winging, pathetic little me, well no, not little, moaning winging patetic, fat, ugly me.
I want to be worthy but I'm not capeable of change on my own, and I'll always be alone. I don't see why I don't go to hell now, sooner rather than later, I don't see a future for me, I can hardly see tomorrow, let alone a year or 2. I'll never make it through school, I have nothing to live for, I'm not capeable of anything I want to be, I always let myself down and I'm sick of it, sick of my mind, my body, and my rotten soul, sick of life and pain and all the surroudings, I need to escape but nothing can do that apart from death. I always end up here, depressed, alone, mental.
My head hurts and I feel sick, a sign that I'm not meant to be.
Y'know I was told today that nobody cares about my life - I thought she was my friend, but that's what she said. The others, they laughed, they agreed, they don't care either. I know they shouldn't care, they should avoid me at all costs, everyone should avoid me, I'm not worthy of friends, of company, of anything, I'm not worthy of help or life, I'm not worth anything.
If I went, just faded the only thing different would be I don't get in the way, I get in the way of everything and everyone, they don't want me, without me they could all have a perfect life. If I went I'd be stronger than all of them, weak to my feeling, strong to the others, they don't understand the pain I feel, the need to be loved, cherished and cared for. I'm not worth the heartache. I don't deserve love, I'd only lie, I lie now. They'd end up hating me, wishing they'd never let me get under their skin and tear them apart. No one likes me now, why should they though? All I have is myself, moaning, winging, pathetic little me, well no, not little, moaning winging patetic, fat, ugly me.
I want to be worthy but I'm not capeable of change on my own, and I'll always be alone. I don't see why I don't go to hell now, sooner rather than later, I don't see a future for me, I can hardly see tomorrow, let alone a year or 2. I'll never make it through school, I have nothing to live for, I'm not capeable of anything I want to be, I always let myself down and I'm sick of it, sick of my mind, my body, and my rotten soul, sick of life and pain and all the surroudings, I need to escape but nothing can do that apart from death. I always end up here, depressed, alone, mental.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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You are capable of a lot of things, lovely. A lot of people care about you, it just isn't always easy to see. <3
PM me if you ever need
-TraciPosted June 6th 2011 at 09:10 PM by Coffee.
