[Triggering] Depression hurts, but you dont have to

Is a fucking lie. of course you hafta hurt, especially if your a teenager! You just keep hurting and hurting and hurting, until you do something about it.


I thought last night was a fucking nightmare...until I woke up and my hand hurt like a bitch fuck. See, it started out as a feeling, dont even know why I felt it. usually I have a reason, this time I didnt. But last year I promised myself no more, so I hid it, very hard. And I completely forgot where I put it, until I got that feeling last night, when I walked right to the exact spot and took it out. I started out telling myself that I just wanted to see it, see if it still shines. Then I told myself that I wanted to see if it was still sharp. See, its a double edge, a straight edge, and a perferated edge. Well, I found out that the straight edge isnt that sharp, seeing as it just left marks on my arm, but the perferated. I tried that on my hand, and damn, that hurt. The entire time I didnt even think....didnt think about who I could have txtd, I just wanted to do it, and want my brain wants it usually gets. I wish the same went for my heart.

If my heart got what it wanted, I wouldnt have problems with my mom. But NO! My brain heres her start bitching and then my brain has to tell my mouth to shoot itself off! Unless Im livid, then Im quiet, and wont speak the entire time. But it never got bad last night so I dont know why I did it.

Anyways, I saw the picture of my brother Noah on my phone and I burst into tears, knowing he"d be dissapointed in me, and that just made me cut harder. But I didnt, I stopped.






"Goodbye friend, it wont be long, and until then we'll sing the same sad song"