Hello

This is my first ever going to a website like this, so idk really what to say...I guess I will start with my problem. I am a 17 year old girl, and as my user name states, I am tired of being. I went to a shrink when I was in 6th grade, but that did shit to help. I am very good at concealing all my problems, seeing as I still go undiagnosed. I just want to die some days. more so when things are going well then when things aren't. I feel bad for putting up this charade with my friends and family, but anytime I try to tell them, I choke up. I freeze. Its like I'm standing in front of a million people trying to give a speech. Really the only person I have found I can talk to is Sum, because she wont judge me...if only I could find her on here! I dont know if anyone will read this, and I really don't care, I just need to get this off my chest, and get me out of my head...it's fucking Hell up there.