later today at home...

Listening to Buffy makes things better! lol. I used to have a facebook and myspace (which my mom had no idea about) and thats where I wrote everything. But then my mom was all "i dont want you having those things until your 18!" so they went bye bye! Shes trying to control me before I turn 18 and Im gone. I cant fucking wait! Last night we were balancing my checkbook, and there were 1 or 2 things that I forgot to put in, but they were each like 2 dollars, so youd think its not a big deal right? WRONG! She goes "This is why I wanted you to show me your check book last month, so we could figure these things out. Really Elly, you need to learn to be more responsible, you need to stop forgetting to put logs in your check book, so this doesnt turn into a fiasco, because each over draft for the bank is 30 dollars and each one for most stores are about 30-50 dollars each check!" then I was all "I know mom" and she glared, and said in a calm, but disappointed, voice "well obviously you dont. obviously you need to pay more attention. You really dont listen to me ever, and it pisses me off." It would have been fine, but then she kept talking, and talking, and talking...I had a pencil in my right hand, and a small piece of paper in the other. By the time she was done, the paper was all crumpled, and the pencil was no more. snapped in three fucking places. I wish she would have fucking yelled at me. I have gotten used to the yelling, but not the disappointed voice...I hate that, it makes me feel even worse...Last night was the first in a long time that I actually felt like cutting. Good thing I lost my knife. Until today during exams, when I thought about it and realized where I put it....yay, laundry time...then more exams tomorrow, and show choir practice from 2:30-5:30, whoopi! at least they havent blocked this at school, even though they have blocked everyting else...babbling now...I've obviously gotten over it...until later....