My mom said that if I ever self harmed again, she'd put me into inpatient therapy because I have "no reason to self harm" and, well, of course she thinks my suicidal thoughts are exaggerated.
But, I've been thinking.

No, the thoughts haven't gone away like I said.
I've lied to my therapist about the last time I've self harmed.
The therapist is already suggesting I see a psychiatrist, and is going to talk to my mom about this next time I see her.Once she does,...

I try coming out to my mom today. Know what she says? Pretty much stuff along the lines of: "Who's a lesbian making you want to be one? You want to be everything you read. Start thinking with your own mind for once, if you think you're a lesbian you really do have problems."
I KNEW she was going to say that, I just KNEW that. Everything is a game to her, my self harm, suicidal thoughts. You know what? I don't fucking KNOW why I feel so bad all the time, I really DON'T. And by...

I ask for a young therapist so I can relate. I get the old chick who did my intake because of my stupid schedule. I just don't want to miss school or quit my community service, but while I lied to my parents saying I liked that lady, I really only found her okay. But my mom said flat up it's either deal with her or don't go at all, and I kinda DO have to go because while my parents don't know this, it's either go to therapy or overdose. The pills are still getting harder to say no to. And nobody...

Sometimes my mother makes it really fucking hard for me to tell her shit. No, impossible.


Everything that I do is me playing “a game” to her.
My Self Harm is just me playing a game. It’s just me doing it for attention. Yeah, because I’m going to get fucking addicted to something and do it whenever I feel like shit, which is often, for attention. And then hide it.
My suicidal thoughts aren’t that bad. The school was totally just overreacting when they told you....

I am in a bad place right now.... I keep thinking that I am a complete failure for not being able to finish what I started. Twice. Twice I survived when I shouldn't have. I don't know anymore if I want to be here anymore. I love this site because I can post anything and nobody will judge me.... I just need to vent I guess. It's late and I can't sleep and I am going crazy inside my head. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I don't really want to be here much longer. The only...

So, I was addicted to cutting from 7th grade until 11th (I just ended my Junior year), but in January I went to the hospital for trying to kill myself. I went again in March because the week I spent in January didn't do much good and I tried to kill myself again, but this time I asked for help before I cut too deep. I have ugly scars all up and down my arms and legs and I hate them. I haven't cut since April, though, which is a big thing for me. Over the past few weeks, my dad and I have been...