I realized that maybe the reason not a lot of people read my blog is because they don't know a lot about me. Well, I don't open up easily, but I figured I'd give it a try.
My name is Lexi, I'm 15 years old, I was born in Florida, USA. My parents didn't get along very well because my dad was a drunk, smoking stoner. They fought all the time, and it became routine for me to hear my father beat my mother at night. Then, when I was three years old, my father decided to give me bath and while the...

A year ago I first self-harmed, it was barely anything just a few scratches to the hip but then it increased to using a razor. My parents found out and they thought I was attention seeking and I was punished. Anyway this year I did it again but this time it was worse on my wrist with any blade I could get my hands on. I hid it with bracelets, wristbands ect. My parents didn't notice (thank God) but I suspect I was suffering with bipolar disorder and I stopped but lately as life has been getting...

E & I fought for the first time last night. At first it was just a stupid habit of mine that was annoying him, but it quickly morphed into something worse. He told me that my sadness is hurting him, and our relationship. I’ve been asking about whether or not it was bothering him recently, and he always denied being in any emotional pain what so ever. When I asked what had changed, he said...

I miss having multiple, multiple reasons to laugh and smile every day, I miss seeing your face, your eyes, every single day. I miss feeling your hand in mine, I miss being happy to be alive in the morning, I miss not lying when I said “I’m doing great” or “I’m fine”. I miss feeling loved, I miss everything.
I miss being in a good place. I miss not wanting to cut through my skin, day in and day out. I miss being h a p...

I'm am so stressed out. Its only the 3rd week of school, and already I'm feeling like I'm losing my mind rather quickly. Every. Single. Day. is a fucking struggle. A struggle to try and stay positive, a struggle to not act out any SH or ED urges, a struggle to get through school material, just a fucking struggle. For everything. It feels like nothing is going to be easy, ever again.

I thought I could trust that my relationship with E would be the one easy thing in my life, but even...

I don't want to do this anymore.
I want to crawl back to ED, and back to the blade and beg for forgiveness. I want to feel the sting and burning of my flesh being sliced open. I want to feel the low hum and diziziness of hunger.
I want this to end. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to struggle anymore. I'm done.
Just kill me off, and end my pain & suffering.

...

I know I'm only fifteen. I know that I have quite some time left to figure this stuff out. I know that labels are just made by society and things change, that you don't always fit into one label. I was talking to someone on here tonight and he really helped me with that and I really appreciate that. This person hopefully knows who I am talking about, and if he stumbles across this, thank you so much.
I really would love to know who the fuck I am, though. A lot of the time I think that I am...

okay so my story isn't as bad as some people's and it's kind of long but i'm gonna try and sum it up as best i can.So it started in 7th grade when my friend started cutting and she told me and i asked her why. she said because it releases all the stuff she keeps in. She warned me that i shouldn't do it because i would most likely get addicted to it, i was fascinated because she spoke of self- harm like it was heroine.But knowing the dangers of it i had a lot going on my mom was drinking a lot and...