So, data loss affected my blog too. Doesn't matter, it's lost. Was just an entry or two anyway. Anywho...

I feel awful anymore. My entire life just feels like it's falling apart and I don't have any idea how to piece it back together.

I've been feeling like this ever since my fiancé left. Now let me make this clear, he did not leave ME, he had to leave for boot camp. Navy. Everyone here jumps to the conclusion he left me when they hear he's left or gone. Anyway, after...

Hi everyone my blog will be a time's funny, sad, uplifting, deppressing, and familiar to your life. Im 14 so this is from a teenage girls perspective and this is my rollercoaster of a life. I will try and blog as much as I can but no promises xxx have fun reading about my life xx

You know, my mom really hurt my feelings today. We argue a lot and I'm used to that, but she said something really out of line today.

I was helping clean out the attic. There were tons of empty boxes up there, and we were taking them all out back to the burn barrel to get rid of them. I was at the top of the stairs, and mom told me to just slide the boxes down and she'd set them all by the back door. I slid a really big one down, and then there was a very small box. It wasn't going...

Okay, I'm in a bad mood now. As usual, it's all thanks to mother.

So tonight, I finally got around to getting my traditional Japanese wooden shoes (geta) out of my closet, along with the matching Japanese socks. I put them on, and then I put on the kimono dress Jon bought me. No pants, just the dress, which cuts off just above the knee. Jon has been asking me to try it and see how it looks with the traditional shoes and socks, and I thought it was cute. I went to my mom's room to...

E & I fought for the first time last night. At first it was just a stupid habit of mine that was annoying him, but it quickly morphed into something worse. He told me that my sadness is hurting him, and our relationship. I’ve been asking about whether or not it was bothering him recently, and he always denied being in any emotional pain what so ever. When I asked what had changed, he said...

I try coming out to my mom today. Know what she says? Pretty much stuff along the lines of: "Who's a lesbian making you want to be one? You want to be everything you read. Start thinking with your own mind for once, if you think you're a lesbian you really do have problems."
I KNEW she was going to say that, I just KNEW that. Everything is a game to her, my self harm, suicidal thoughts. You know what? I don't fucking KNOW why I feel so bad all the time, I really DON'T. And by...