Somehow I always find myself all alone. It's not that I don't try to interact with people. I try, as much as my social anxiety and APD allows me to.
"I long to get closer
Just hate being alone
I long for that feeling to not feel at all
The highest I get
The lower ill sink
I can't drown my demons
They know how to swim."
-BMTH

So, data loss affected my blog too. Doesn't matter, it's lost. Was just an entry or two anyway. Anywho...

I feel awful anymore. My entire life just feels like it's falling apart and I don't have any idea how to piece it back together.

I've been feeling like this ever since my fiancé left. Now let me make this clear, he did not leave ME, he had to leave for boot camp. Navy. Everyone here jumps to the conclusion he left me when they hear he's left or gone. Anyway, after...

Thigh is getting worse and worse with cuts, not really eaten in a few days. Right now when im alone in my bedroom there is nothing more that I want to do than cutting myself but then when im with my siblings and im out I feel really agility and stupid for doing it which then I do it again. It is a vicious circle - dont get into, you can't get out of it once your in it I promise you that stay strong. Xxx

Wow, TeenHelp. It’s been quite some time since I last posted here, and my life as changed in all sorts of ways.

Well, let’s with the positive then. I started learning to drive around Christmas time, got my permit & everything. I got my braces off in November, and plans for me to get a car before/on my 16th birthday are in place…uh yeah. I can’t think of much positive at the moment. :c

...

I just woke up screaming. I was shaking and sweating and crying... I'd only been asleep for an hour. The shaking is making it hard to type, and everything's blurry because of the tears.

I feel so alone all the time. Four months ago I moved 163 miles away from home, with only a week to adjust to the idea. I don't know any one here. None of my 'friends' ever get in contact with me unless I message them first. When I visit home, everyone's too busy to meet up with me. Even my boyfriend...