What does the word “friend” mean?

Generally speaking, we’ve used this word
so loosely that we lack an understanding
of the true definition behind this word.

Growing up as little kids in school, our teachers
would tell us that everyone in our class is
all friends here, but are they really your friends?

Because no one ever taught us the true
meaning of what it means to be a friend to
someone, we have a skewed definition...

You thought the person you had in your life
was everything you ever wanted.

You thought the person you had in your life
would never betray you and be there for you.

You thought the person you had in your life
loved you as much as you loved them,
that you were willing to do whatever it takes
to keep the relationship alive and going.

Then, you happen to find out they ghosted you.

They stopped talking to...

I can't tell if not caring is a GOOD thing or a BAD thing. Maybe a bit of both.

Good, I guess, is that normally in gym I'd be so embarrassed by how sucky I am at everything, but right now I could care less.

But I could care less about grades or anything either. I left a good portion of my science test blank because I just didn't even want to try to find the right answers because it was hard. Don't care if I fail anyway because she lets us retake. Making minimal to no...

So, everyone thinks that me and my friend, M, should date. Neither of us agree and feel our shop is too sibling-like for us to ever work out. However, with all the pressure coming from outside sources, I think he is mad at me. He wasn't really talking to me today after outclass and my friend said she thinks he's mad at me.

I can't lose him as a friend. I just can't. I started crying for a while earlier at the thought. I don't want him mad at me or upset with me or thinking different...

So, I have a friend who self harms and mentioned to me today that they had self harmed with an Exacto knife blade. Of course, because they are pretty much my best friend in the entire universe, I was worried about them. At the same time, I was jealous as fuck that they were using an Exacto knife blade. I was just sitting there thinking to myself, "I wish I had one of these," and wishing that this person would give me one. Like I was thinking of begging them to find me one or something...