How do I even explain what's racing through my head right now? Never good enough, never deep enough, never thin enough. Cut. Cut. Cut. Slice myself up. Cut deeper than ever before last night. You could see the fat of my thigh in the cut, and yet, it doesn't hurt anymore. It even started healing, and I hate it. I WANT to feel the pain..does that even make sense? Probably not. I doubt anyone will even read this.
I'm sorry, I'm just rambling nonsense. Never lost enough weight, never cut deep...

I have been cutting myself for almost 6 years now. But, I have been clean for about a month. Yay!
I started because a "friend" told me that it would help me feel better. So, I tried it. I just needed something to take the pain away. And it did. Everytime I did it, I became numb. It felt good. If I didn't do it deep enough, though, I would be in pain. So I have always made sure to cut deep. :\