very frustrated

Before you read this be warned that like normal it is a bunch of me complaining and rambling, feel free to skip it and move onto the next post.

This whole situation is just so frustrating. Just two weeks ago I was at school coping with life, yes I was having blips but for once I was speaking up in school when I needed help and I was for the most part able to look at the positives in situations, then in a matter of hours my whole life got flipped upside down school, counselling, youth clubs all got cancelled and my whole support system went out of the window. I now no longer receive counselling as I am not a student any more although the counselour has agreed to be on the end of an email if I need her although both me and here know that is not useful as I struggle to reach out to people especially over email. The one to one support I was getting now no longer happens at youth club as we are not able to do that over the internet. Everything has just gone, and I can see my mental health getting worse and worse, I have started to have thoughts about SH again which I have not had since I gave away my tools in the summer, I have even had thoughts about killing myself as at the moment in my mind that is the easier option in all of this. Those thoughts have not been in my head for years. I am struggling to reach out to my friends when I need help, everything that I have been working on the last few months... getting better at the last few months gone and now it looks like for at least the next 6 months I am stuck in my toxic how with no escape, fun... I honestly don't know how much of this I can take.