So, today I got my first tattoo and it wasn't that bad. At least that is what I am telling myself because I am afraid that the only reason I was ok with it because I liked the pain. The tattoo is on my wrist and it felt like I was hurting myself again and now in my head, it feels like that is an ok thing to do and I want more.

The tattoo I got means a lot to me but now all I want to do is hurt myself, it gave me that feeling back and it felt good. Is it weird to say I have missed...

Why does everyone have these expectations of me. So my Nan died, and since then everyone around me expects me to break down, like everyone and it is so frustrating. I am doing ok, I have a new job, I am stable on my meds, I am doing well. To the point where I even decided to stop therapy, this happened before my nan but was finalized after. I am doing ok and I hate that everyone is expecting me to fail.