Last night I was scrolling through tik tok as I was anxious and that normally helps me get my mind off of things. Well it didn't, I came across a video about SH and Suicide and that sent me straight into a panic attack. By a I mean many. I have not had a problem with these triggers for a while and now they come along and send me spiralling. It is just so frustrating. I did not sleep much last night because of this which now means I will have a hard day today and I am more likely to have more panic...

Although life is not great I have had an okay day today, I spent my morning on my own in my garden which was really nice and then this afternoon I got to go and see my friend as we had some food to drop of, that really picked up my spirits. I have youth group tonight on zoom, I don't know if I am going to go or not as they will know straight away that I am not ok and there is nothing they can do to help so I don't really want to talk about it. On the other hand, if I don't go then they will also...