Do people ever feel like they are bringing their negative feelings on themself. Tonight I was doing some more research on taking action for what I have been through but the more and more I looked at it the more and more the low feelings came. I wish I could just not care anymore about any of it because then maybe all of the problems would just go away, cause maybe people are right. I care too much.

So I started uni this year and after having a breakdown extra support was put in place for me. This started with an access plan and during that meeting, it was suggested that I apply for DSA which is a UK support scheme for Disabled Students to get extra equipment. When I got told to apply for this I did not believe I would be able to get anything but turns out I was able to get stuff.
This whole process has been so weird for me from getting a diagnosis to the meds to the access plan and...

This Christmas was going ok. Not great but better than normal then something happened. All at once what was an ok changed because of one text.

An ex youth leader of mine who has been so much help to me over the two years I have known him passed away and I cant believe it. He was in the hospital and has been really ill but he was getting better and then he is gone.

I have never really lost anyone and he was more of a dad then anyone has been to me. I don't know what...

I go home on Sunday, an event that I have pushed back as much as I could but couldn't push any further. I haven't been home since the end of October which was not a great trip home and turned from a weekend trip to a two-week trip (quarantine) and so now I am terrified about what is going to happen. With my old therapist, we talked about how moving away could make the relationship better but if anything it is making my anxiety 100% worse about the whole experience. I am not someone who gets scared...