I lasted 450 days without any big melt down and then this milestone came along. For the first time ever I ended up in AnE. I was unable to keep myself safe and ended up in hospitle. Now that sucked. I felt like I had failed by going there for help and then I felt like I had wasted their time by being there. Everyone else there was sick I was wasnt... not in my eyes anyway. It ended alright, I did not relapse but I dont know... what has happened i think is in some ways is worse. The docters and now...