what i have been doing since signing up..

i have been going to my counsellor every week and i have been talking to her about the problem i have and face in future and yesterday was great i talked to my counsellor about most things around 20 subjects were brought up but i can tell you its not fun to be someone who is hurting all the time like 24/7 and never has fun but puts on a fake smile to make everyone else happy.
god i hate pleasing everyone and that's why i don't have a bf or any friends for that matter.
i have done a new budget today because my rent of all things is going up and i hate that so i had to put that into it and i thought it was going to be a budget blow out but i guess not, well not anyway yet,i hope i can stay alive with what i am living off of because its so hard to live with a minimal budget its just so damn hard, and you know the worst thing about it is i have been single now for 3 years and i think me getting another bf is like never going to happen but that's only the way i feel its not i what i see i know for a fact there is this guy here in sydney and i know he likes me and a few days ago he said hi to me and it took him 4 months to do it but i can't help but wonder how long will it take for him to ask me out, or ask for my number?
anyway i will post more when i know more information.