Food

I'm so worried right now. We are not having a really healthy dinner tonight and I'm so scared I'm going to get fat. I already know what I'm going to do after dinner, it's just the fact that I'm going to have to eat it tonight!!!! I will work-out afterwards, I just hate doing this to myself! When I eat I feel guilty, it's like saying "It's okay, feed yourself, you're just going to get fat". I wish I never had to eat or my parents would not make me eat... I wish food was not around.... I'm so worried right now, I just wish I could just eat something else but I can't... UGH! I'm going to hate myself so much more then what I'm hating myself now... I'm not even eating anything yet X(

And then tomorrow... Easter dinner???? Are you kidding me!!!! I can't keep doing this. I hate myself so much for eating. But I'm going to have to eat what the family is eating for dinner tomorrow. Why do holidays have to involve food