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Maybe i am crazy.... *triggering
Posted April 25th 2011 at 12:18 PM by Riddikulus
I don't know how much more i can take, i spoke to my coach who now thinks i'm crazy. She said i can't compete until i sort myself out, that is the problem, i can't! My training was something to focus on, a break from reality, but she has taken that away.
My drinking..cutting... Overdosing, it has taken control of me, i feel as though it is the only thing left. It feels like there is nothing left to fight for, and hopefully therefore nothing left to lose.
I just sit there dragging the blade over my arms, remembering the things i have lost and i know i shouldn't do it, but i feels so good... maybe i am crazy.. maybe she is right.... I don't know anymore...
My drinking..cutting... Overdosing, it has taken control of me, i feel as though it is the only thing left. It feels like there is nothing left to fight for, and hopefully therefore nothing left to lose.
I just sit there dragging the blade over my arms, remembering the things i have lost and i know i shouldn't do it, but i feels so good... maybe i am crazy.. maybe she is right.... I don't know anymore...
Total Comments 7
Comments
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hun... there is stuff left to loose... i need you!!!! i really do! Please hun, keep yourself safe and get the help you need.. xxx love you!Posted April 25th 2011 at 12:41 PM by missmolly
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Sweetie, you can sort yourself out if you really want to...nothing is impossible! You just need to get back your focus. What is more important? You're training or...
There's a whole lot to fight for, darling, so don't ever convince yourself otherwise. There are so many many people who love you, me included. There are so many people who depend on you, who need you!
Yes, we all lose things, but that doesn't mean we can't gain something else, why not focus on that?
Stay strong babe! Loveee youuuuu!! :*Posted April 25th 2011 at 01:36 PM by Spirit.
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there is alot to fight for, keep focused and dont give up!Posted April 25th 2011 at 02:00 PM by WhisperingSilence
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Sweetie you are not crazy and you can sort this out. Don't give up sweetie.
Look at it as something to fight for. When you beat this you can compete. I know it seems hard but i have faith in you and know you can :]
I am always here if you need me.
I love you <3Posted April 25th 2011 at 10:16 PM by Anatidaephobia
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You can do this lovely. Keep fighting things will get better. You're not crazy and there is everything to lose. Hang in there hun, I love you so much. <3Posted April 26th 2011 at 12:32 PM by Everglow.
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You are not crazy. You're just really deeply hurt. And you feel in the short term that cutting, drinking, and ODing help you...but really they just keep you in an unhealthy pattern and keep you unhappy. You've gotta break outof this babygirl. Find the love of life that's inside you. I know it's there because you always manage to offer it to me when I feel like letting go. I love you so much girl and I'm ALWAYS gonna be here for youPosted April 26th 2011 at 01:31 PM by Blair
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Hey there Girly <3
You are so not crazy! You are just in a rough patch and having trouble pulling yourself out. You can do this though. You are way stronger then most people I know. Myself included. You are worth so much! You are here for everyone. Now you need to be here for yourself. I love you. You can do this. If you need anything let me know. Love you <3Posted April 26th 2011 at 01:36 PM by Jovial.
