Log in (
The thing that scares me the most... hurting you... *triggering*
Posted April 20th 2011 at 12:16 PM by Riddikulus
I hate hurting like this, i hate being like this.... i hate the hospital trips, the lying to family and doctors....i hate myself for it all.
Cutting...ODing....suicide.... that is all the runs through my mind lately...when i can do it....how much i'm hurting at the moment. My head is spinning with the horrible thoughts... last night failed.... but still i want to end it all.
But i'm scared of hurting people...
Total Comments 3
Comments
-
I love you.
Keep trying.
Please? I have faith in you. Please?
I love you so so so much <3Posted April 20th 2011 at 01:51 PM by ~*Rach*~
-
Sometimes, ya just gotta let yourself pull motivation from your fear of hurting others. Until you're able to find motivation based on the fact that you WANT to be here, and you WANT to live this life, try not to discount the people that will be hurt. Because yes, they will. If you look back a few pages of threads in WWSD, you'll find my threads from when my mom attempted suicide last semester and when my dad found out he may have had lung cancer. I didn't feel like I could take a full breath for several weeks in there. And I'm not saying that you don't feel even worse than that right now. I can't even imagine it. But I am saying that sometimes, thinking of the pain we're saving those friends and family members of ours... well, if it gets us through the day, so be it.
So, that happens in the meantime... but in the "bigger picture," we're aiming for you to be able to have a high quality of life and be able to start enjoying life. Why? Well, firstly, because you deserve it. Secondly, because as soon as you're "there," you'll be able to go back and help others get there..even more than you're helping them now. (:
Don't be one of those people who ignores their own issues in order to help others. Helping others is great, but if you get stuck in the time warp that is this whole cycle, its going to make it a lot more difficult on down the road.
I'm thinking of you. (: Hang in there.
Posted April 20th 2011 at 07:47 PM by Katrina
-
you mean a lot to me. Dont give up.. Find that one thing that gets you up every day.. things will and do get better! i promise!
xx Love youPosted April 21st 2011 at 11:57 AM by missmolly
