On the inside I'm a mess, although I pretend to be so put-together & so sane.
When in reality, I'm just a lost lonely soul.
Waiting for the end to all of the chaos that controls my mind.
I'm nothing now, hollow & filled with pain I cannot erase & memories I'm too scared to face.
My mind wanders as I try to understand everything I cannot change.
The world is so foggy & damp with destruction.
And through my eyes no clarity could be found, for...

Source: Newsletter | Issue 44 | If you would like to receive the full quality HTML version via email please sign up.

TeenHelp Newsletter

TeenHelp Newsletter #44 - November 18th 2013 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of upcoming events, short bits...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are two scheduled discussions on the topic of coping with bullying in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT) and the second will be held at 8pm Central US time (CST). All you have to do to take part is log...

Okay, so, starting at the beginning, I slept five eighths of nothing. Then I got up, got dressed, did my ablutions, left the house, bought an energy drink to break my $20 (and for breakfast), caught a bus, smoked, attended P.E.T., which involved smoking, eating, talking, learning, realising things are out of control, talking too much, getting a 10/10 for my first quiz, and a carrot that lead to a lot of laughter.

After P.E.T., I'd planned to pick up my diary card from reception at...

(sighs)...Right now, I just don't know how to start this. I feel like I once had something that I cherished for the time being, but now, it's just gone like the wind...Those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, it's basically this: I just lost a friendship with a girl... and I'm pretty torn about it... I mean, we were like close friends when we first met. We had such a great time hanging out during lunchtime, and sometimes in the school mornings and nutrition breaks. Now, all that has...

I swear, I thought I knew what I was getting into.

Turns out I forgot how hard it is to read, to answer questions based on what I've learned, and adapt information.

I can do it, but goshdarn it's hella hard. Every time I spend more than twenty minutes trying to read, I feel like I'm bashing my brain with a pointy stick. Every time I spend more than ten minutes answering questions, words stop working and instead float around doing silly things like turning advocate into...

Working hard to keep it a lapse and not a regression, and I think I'm succeeding? Debbie said that when life is so chaotic (and she added that I seem to attract chaos ), emotions don't get a chance to return to baseline, and when that happens, each new trigger, no matter how small, sends the emotional intensity up and up and up until it's too much, and that's when I dissociate or act destructively or whatever. So . . . my task for the week is to keep adding to my list of triggers, and...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are two scheduled discussions on the topic of building confidence and self-esteem in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT) and the second will be held at 8pm Central US time (CST). All you have...

I wish that in my absence I improved somewhat so I could post something good and maybe inspiring but instead I continue to radiate misery like the poisonous and toxic mess that I am. I just drag everyone down and I want to apologies to every single one of you that I have disappointed with my diabolical friendship skills. So i'd like to apologise for being a lousy friend and just generally an awful person.

I'm trying to hard just to stay a float right now but I feel like I'm drowning...

Title is unrelated, it's from a song I was listening to earlier and is stuck in my head. (Some Nights - Fun, for those of you who are interested)

I walked the 2.4 miles to Naomi's today but since I did it after she got out of work (5.30) it was pitch black outside already. And pouring with rain. And somehow in all the times I've walked to and from here, I never noticed the danger. The whole road is a 60 speed limit, the path is about 2 feet wide, and for a mile there are no street...