Everyone keeps saying "oh it'll get better" and i just think thats bullshit because it never will for me. I will always be fucked up. I've realized that, truthfully, i don't see myself living past 2014. i really don't. I just wish that it would be from a non self inflicted cause because maybe it won't hurt everyone as much but then i don't want it to be from anything other than my self because it seems worse to me.

I thought the panic attacks were done, but then guess

...

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November 5th: INSPIRE: They’re ambitious, talented, driven, yet homeless. Get inspired to reach out to...

Right now, I'm just feeling really sad...and I don't know who else to talk to about everything that I've been through. Some of you may be aware that over the past couple of weeks that have gone by, quite a lot has happened, and up to this night, I start to feel the same way that I've always been feeling my whole life, and that's being alone without having anyone to share the moment with... It's disheartening...and I don't know how else to put it. I was just scrolling through my Friends list on...

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Well, at this very moment I'm calm I guess but I know things are going to set me off. And they're going to set me off hard.

I don't know if it's because I have my period or what the hell this is but.

I didn't cut myself today but I did for two days straight. I mean it's not a horrible cycle but. It's not saying I didn't want to cut today, but things got in the way when I was triggered.

I almost started crying in like every class, had kids tell me to calm...

I just got my first every uni assignment back (yes, at 11.30pm) and

I GOT A B!!!!!

78%, good solid pass, and I haven't written an essay for 3/4 years. Can't stop smiling!!! My tutor said I brought up some really good points (some that not many others had thought of) and it was just little tweaks on how everything was put together that I need to fix.
I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY I THINK I'M GOING TO TURN INTO A UNICORN AND SHIT RAINBOWS!

Well, the title is a lie. i say that lie so many times a day. i wish i could just lay in bed all the time because that seems to help me.

all i've been doing recently at night after i get home and my mom is at work it just either laying in bed or sitting on the couch. sometimes i have a movie or music on but i never pay attention. i just lay there feeling numb and then i finally just break. i break down and just start sobbing. i've never been this low before and its scaring me what

...

On the inside I'm a mess, although I pretend to be so put-together & so sane.
When in reality, I'm just a lost lonely soul.
Waiting for the end to all of the chaos that controls my mind.
I'm nothing now, hollow & filled with pain I cannot erase & memories I'm too scared to face.
My mind wanders as I try to understand everything I cannot change.
The world is so foggy & damp with destruction.
And through my eyes no clarity could be found, for...

Source: Newsletter | Issue 44 | If you would like to receive the full quality HTML version via email please sign up.

TeenHelp Newsletter

TeenHelp Newsletter #44 - November 18th 2013 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of upcoming events, short bits...