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I must say that ever since I came back from Thanksgiving vacation to school, things have started to really shape up. I started reaching out to others that I wasn't really friends with before, and now, those people are my good friends now. Another thing that happened was one of my friends that I met in my choral class last year and was really good friends with actually texted me one night and actually apologized for treating me like crap since the school year began. She felt really bad and actually...

I had quite a good day today, went out ( :O ).
The weird thing is, the better day I have, the more down I feel at night. So if I have a really good or bad day, I end up cutting at night, but not on a mediocre day.
Meh, what can you do?

Whereas before I could go maybe 2 weeks' now it's almost every night
Never use twitter, don't have an account, bit l but I came across this account @welltbh that is literally me, besides gender.

Whereas before I could go maybe 2 weeks' now it's almost every night
Never use twitter, don't have an account, bit l but I came across this account @welltbh that is literally me, besides gender.

Got rid of the ticker, depressing having to reset it all the time and for other people to see under every post I make
Secret santa in mai form was shit, I got a bag full of sweets, chocolate etc, given to me by someone I haven't really spoken to this year. I could almost see people thinking "ummmm this is awkward, will he eat them here? That'd be horrible". I gave it all away to my friends come lunch, I even felt self concious doing that, just the fact that I had them.
So...

Turns out Christmas is a mere week away! Holy shit, that came out of nowhere.

We had our last group for the year today. I learned that the new guy has terminal AML. Explains a lot - like why he's angry a lot - but also makes me mad, because you get close to people in group, and it means some time in the future I'm going to have to try and cope with another cancer death. I don't want any of that shit. I had enough of it with Rebecca and T.A. It was scary enough having a sick brother,...

Well, now I have a new collection of shiny new cuts
Blood even dripped onto my sheets so I need to change them before my mum sees, and hope she doesn't notice the fact that I changed them. It was also deeper than I've been before, which worries me a little as it didn't feel different...

Turns out, my mums friend has a son about the same height as me with a monkey onesie. Apparently I should be thrilled, when what I actually want to do is scream at my mum DONT YOU KNOW ME AT ALL????
So now I have to go into school feeling even more self conscious than usual, then parade myself around in public for several hours.
I think im going to break when I get home tomorrow. Resetting that ticker after 3 days will not be good...

I hate my mouth. So much that I dont eat in public, try not to smile, and put my hand in front of my mouth if I laugh.
I dont eat breakfast any more, nor lunch because of the whole public thing, so I eat one meal a day. Its half six now and I haven't eaten since 6 yesterday. Im really hungry, but I dont want to eat. What I really want to do is cut, but I promised myself I wouldn't.