My first three classes were today!

I had statistics first. He seems like a nice guy though he did make a slight sexist joke. He jokes around a lot though and I honestly don't think he meant anything by it. I'm scared for his class because the exams are basically the only thing he grades. He gave us a homework assignment and I made a mistake by accident and did a lot of scribbling so I did it out again on a separate piece of paper so I'm scared he won't accept it! I will...

Classes start tomorrow! I can't help but be nervous.

I registered for that club I talked about earlier. I had to call, because you have to have training in order to do it. The training is on September 13th.

I even managed to go to the counselling center and make an appointment! I guess since I mentioned past suicidal thoughts and some self injurious behavior, they made me talk to someone right then and there. Or it could've been routine, I dunno, but the guy said it was...

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TeenHelp Newsletter #53 - August 27th 2014 - http://www.teenhelp.org

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Today was better.

It was mainly just meetings and stuff. Saw two of my friends who are commuters, and some other people at my high school who I were never really close with, but we still talked. My friend said she may start up a Skills USA chapter here if she's able, so I'm excited about that.

THE SHOWER. The water is always toooo hot! I can't cool it down! And I learned not to take the very end shower because the curtain kept blowing open...

I signed...

I am mainly writing this here because I forgot to bring the notebook I write about my day's events in as well. I may just do the blog thing permanently. I dunno.

Today was better than the first day. I still didn't really get much sleep though so I feel like death.

Even though today was better, I still wanted to self harm at times and wish I brought my tool.

I haven't had the time to stop by the counselling center and make an appointment and probably...

Welp. I guess is the continuation of my earlier blog. Sorry for posting two in one day.

This day was...bad. Really bad. I'm starting to calm down now, but exhaustion has also taken over from not sleeping so...

But yeah. I moved in. That went fine. My niece was there though because my dad couldn't come. He can't lift because of the surgery. My sister didn't have a sitter so my niece had to come.

It was okay until the goodbye. I know I am probably coming...

So I have to finish packing and getting ready because later today I move in to college.

I had no sleep last night. I didn't sleep at all. I was nervous or anxious I guess, because any time I even got remotely comfortable I'd have an upset stomach or have to pee or my chest would feel all funny and scared, and I wanted to cut but I didn't.

But now I feel like hell and I don't know how I am going to make it through the day. I have activities until like 9 PM or something...

73 days without cutting. longer than i've made it in probably over 2 years.. and yet i'm starting not to care if i relapse anymore. don't get me wrong i'm still pretty damn proud, but i just feel so shitty and of course the addiction kicks in and reminds me that cutting will help. the urges keep getting worse everyday and i don't think i can go much longer, honestly.

being constantly worried about a friend doesn't help either.. lets just call her M. M lives really close to me and

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