Ok, well I was afraid to tell my friend Ellie who I like because I was worried she might tell him, which isn't the worst thing, but I'm not quite ready for that yet and I'd rather he hear it from me.
Well she spent the night and was joking about that I was texting my "lover" and my brother, Nick, thought she was serious and asked if he knew I liked him. Ellie then got curious and kept pestering me until I told her. I shouldn't have given in, but she's my friend and I know I should...

Ok so this is my first blog so I apologize if it sucks.

Ok a little background info about the situation. #1 (a friend of mine) and #2 are good friends.

#2 doesn't have alot of friends because of her attitude, she crys and tells the teacher when anyone says anything bad about her but she is constantly putting down the people around her. She even made fun of #1 because of her race and she acts like it's not a big deal.

She's also getting very over-controlling...

Lights all around, beaming on me. I step forward and look around but no one seems to be in the same room I am. I call out, nothing but my echoes reach back to my ears. I begin to walk the clicking of my shoes resonate in this, what seems to be a room, I'm in. The heat of the lights slowly begin to make me feel light headed and dizzy but I continue to walk, ignoring my bodies apparent need to rest. I'm searching, for what I don't know but there’s a need to search for someone or something. Though...

Today he:
-caught up with me on my way to lunch
-asked me if it was ok if he "bothered" me again at lunch (to which the only reply I could manage was an excited sounding "sure")
-he sat with me all lunch and we ended up being the only ones left at the table and we were still talking
-he had to go see a teacher a little before lunch ended and I had to go to the bathroom so we left and he said he'd text me later
-he caught up with me on my way to my...

I dont really know what im supposed to do?
Sit here and talk about why i like everyone else has "problems"
I think jamie made me come on here for a reason somehow. Not quite sure what?
I dont want to say things and seem cliche and "emo"
But yet..this is all new to me
I dont dot he being helped
im the helper
so come to me

x

I've been having the same dream over and over again..... A dream that I'm alone, no one around. In that dream all of me, fingers, cheeks, fingernails, feet, teeth, bones, flesh, even the tips of my hair ache from such loneliness. The world filled with warmth the one of us together seems more like a dream than the dream I'm having now. But I feel that so long as I don't lose the memory from those days I may be able to stay connected to reality. If only by a fragile, fragile hold.

Though...

Yesterday he walked me to lunch, stood there then went to his table. Today, he sat with me! I'm so happy. Here's a list of what he did today:
-sat behind me in class
-walked with me to lunch
-sat with me at lunch
-walked a little ways to another class with me, but he had to make a stop along the way and I needed to talk to the teacher so I went ahead
-sat diagonally from me in this class (it was the closest open seat)
-walked to the library with me when...

Tyler is the guy I like and he walked with me to lunch today. He walked over to the table I sit at, but I was nervous and stupid and just sat down and didn't say any more to him. So he said he'd stop bugging me and went to sit with his friends. I was kicking myself all lunch for not doing something, but then as I was leaving lunch he said bye to me. And we texted a few times tonight. I'm trying to show an intrest in him without being too forward.
I'm new to relationship stuff and so it's really...