wow....it's been almost a month since I last blogged. I'm hardly on TH anymore...and that's not really intentional or anything, it's just the timeless excuse...I'VE BEEN BUSY. I know, original right? Maybe I should come up with a more interesting reason...

Okay, so here's the deal. A couple weeks ago I got in a huge fight with my parents about how many popsicles is "too many". Things got a little out of hand...harsh words were said...and well, I left home. I decided that I...

So I'm not failing math, I got a D+ on the exam, and am getting a C- in the class....yay, passing, but just barely....at least I get to stay in show choir........lol, I cant wait to see RENT on Thursday....I LOVE RENT!!!!!!!! cant wait to see it LIVE! hahahahahahahahaha....okay, going a little bit crazy here cooped up at home...gotta go to the docs at 330 cuz ma said so........hopefully Ill be able to perform, but even if he says I cant, I still will! hahahahahahahahahaahha, go screwing over doctors...

To make a long (and boring) story short...I just failed my IM3 exam. I dont need to know that math shit, all I ineed is statistics, but I needed to take IM3 and IM4 before I can take stats, so thats what Im doing, and to get scholarship money I need a B average throughout all 4 years of High School. Freshman yaer = 1 F (English), so that average went from B to C. This year (Junior) it's going to go from C to D...OMFGM! Ahhhh....listening to the Mamma Mia music that we arent doing for YTBN...aka...

BUFFY
Life's a show
And we all play our parts
And when the music starts
We open up our hearts

It's all right
If some things come out wrong
We'll sing a happy song
And you can sing along

Where's there's life
There's hope, everyday's a gift
Wishes can come true
Whistle while you work
So hard all day
To be like other girls
To fit in in this glittering world

Don't give...

Listening to Buffy makes things better! lol. I used to have a facebook and myspace (which my mom had no idea about) and thats where I wrote everything. But then my mom was all "i dont want you having those things until your 18!" so they went bye bye! Shes trying to control me before I turn 18 and Im gone. I cant fucking wait! Last night we were balancing my checkbook, and there were 1 or 2 things that I forgot to put in, but they were each like 2 dollars, so youd think its not a big deal...

This is my first ever going to a website like this, so idk really what to say...I guess I will start with my problem. I am a 17 year old girl, and as my user name states, I am tired of being. I went to a shrink when I was in 6th grade, but that did shit to help. I am very good at concealing all my problems, seeing as I still go undiagnosed. I just want to die some days. more so when things are going well then when things aren't. I feel bad for putting up this charade with my friends and family,...

I think ive finally reached an end point
there is no further to go
no more life lessons to learn
no cutain call
no encore
no final wishes
no last breaths
just a black empty hole something im trying desparately to fill, anything, its like im clucthing at human contact
makes me know im alive
doesnt stop it hurting, doesnt make breathing easier
Doesnt make liveing with myeself easy
but hey
might not have to do it for long...

The closer I get to being 15, the more I feel like it is a huge step in my life. Why? I don't know. It just feels like fifteen will be a whole lot older. I know that it isn't, that I will be the same person. It's just a little weird. Everybody keeps asking me what I want. The problem is, I don't really want anything. Material objects are nice, but not really what my life is about. I just like being around people who love me.
That reminds me, I joined Dragon Caves (dragcave.net) and I want...

I am utterly going to fail my exams
thats my career out the window
my bf is breaking up with me
i feel so lost
should i feel this guilty over it?
should i cry more?
Hes institutionalised me by totally monopolysing me
il be empty of he goes
he left me with nothing ;(

Ten months ago, if my boyfriend cheated, I would be alright with it as long as it was purely sexual. If she happened to be hot, I'd even want in on the action. I'd even be mad if he had the opportunity to do it with a hottie but didn't take it.

I got pregnant. And we got married. Five months ago, he started to sxt some girls. And I was alright.. at first. Things continued and I stopped being alright with it. He only stopped when he read the messages I sent to my friend saying that I...