Once again it’s all on me
Not sure how to say sorry
Over and over it happens like this
into the ground I pound my balled fists

Maybe walking alone is best
try not to worry about all the rest
don't ever look behind you
or you know the pain’ll find you

Got me feelin’ so low
but I don’t let it show
just needa get through it
gonna push myself through it

But in case I look behind
in case...

I wanted to post this in the forums but I felt stupid doing it.
I write this with a heavy heart
I'm struggling in school because i've been so sick. I'm always sick in the beginning of the year. And being a freshman with 2 honors classes doesn't help. Its the hardest time of the year for me- The 1 year anniversary of The Court Case. When i dissappeared for 7 months. This time last year, I was living with my emotionally abusive foster mom. All the memories have been flooding...

I need some help guys. I want to got to boarding school but my parents believe that no one else should take over the responsibility of being my "parent". My dad already gave me a firm no even though our school system is jacked up. This school is wonderful. It has this awesome art program that could help me get better with my art skills. How could i get them to let me go that would be something a 12 year old can do?

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of dealing with unwanted sexual advances tonight in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PDT)....

We're having a 'family night' tonight.
Random food, games and maybe watching some of the video footage we took on holiday.
I'm not fooled.
I know why they're doing this. And in some ways, it makes it worse.
They're trying to compensate for disappointment and show what they mean when they say that we have to stick together as a family.
I wouldn't say I'm feeling disappointed. It feels more like there's a huge part of me that's just... gone.
And it's not coming...

Oh my, its been a while since I've wrote on here. I don't even remember the last time I did. Guess it doesn't really matter.. All I know is that there has been a lot that has happened since, and I feel that if I write it on here where none of my "friends" know where to find it, then it wont some how get turned around and bite me in the ass. I don't know where to start with my problems. I don't quite know if I should write them, but I have to get them off my chest and I'm finding I don't...

So, I went back towhat I do best...The things that I stopped for a bit, but I can't handle this anymore...It scares me because I feel like I'm doing so many things wrong. I'm depressed, and I don't want to sleep. But I have to sleep so I can get through work. My best friend lives with me, and she told me that I need professional help, so she is pretty much saying that I'm fucked up in the head. And sorry if my mood changes all of a sudden...I didn't sleep much last night. I really don't know what...

Havent been here in weeks. I guess today is the first time i stopped running around the place and actually sat down. So i kept myself super busy. Losing myself in everything else. Forcing myself to stop dwelling on how bad i was feeling. But now its time to stop running, energy buzz has finally worn off and im tired.

So god damn tired.

Just back from my therapist. I think thats what made me stop and sit down. According to her im running myself into the ground.
...

The title kinda says it all. This weekend has been amazing and at the same time just as confusing. I know in my head that I dont need to fear that which is scaring the shit out of me. But in my heart I just can't stop. It's stupid I know, but I cant stop overthinking things,(ironic huh?)

First of all I drove 9 hours to meet my girlfriend.
It was kinda what I was expecting, but there were a few differences lmao. She was a lot less shy then I expected.

Idk maybe...