Who am i trying to kid ?
me or him.
i know the things i say are usually lies when it comes to him.
but what am i suppose to say ?
that i still love him, when he doesnt give a crap about me .
when you look into my eyes i know you can see the hurt behind the smile and the lie " im fine "
he knew me. he was everything to me. he was my bestfriend. now hes gone. and theres no way to get him back.
i effed up big time by dating him again i guess....

I've only been on teenhelp for a couple days and I already feel better. Before I was confused and had no clue what to do. And I went on and I talked to someone. I unloaded everything. I feel weightless now. If only i could always feel that way...

Dear _____; (wont write name, he isn't on here anyway)

Why you may ask, well lets see.. I am trying to be a F***ing friend to you. I know you have these feelings for me. If you wanna know the truth, drop a few years and if you weren't MARRIED, I may have liked you more like you liked me.

You said you were fine just being my friend, so F****ing be it okay. Because what you just tried to make me do, made me feel like if i continued I would be cheating on my boyfrined. ...

RAVENCLAWWWWWW.

Sat up until 3am. Was closer to half past by the time I fell asleep.
Felt so self destructive. Finished what was left of the Kalms in the kitchen. Added ibuprofen. Mixed some alcohol together to take them with. Was less than ten minutes after I finished the alcohol when I fell asleep. Probably a good thing. Decided to watch Alice in Wonderland and stumbled across the room to get it. So dizzy. Found myself lying on my back on my bed with no idea how I got there.
At least it made me...

Went into college today. Actually went on time but sat in the library instead of going to class. Linda wasn't in so I winded up with my course tutor Shona and Linda's boss, Ann.
They sat me down in this room and went over what my email had said about not coping with college and not being able to handle dealing with people.
Shona started asking if I had any physical coping mechanisms I could use to feel better in the morning so I'm more motivated to come in. I wanted to tell her that

...

Exactly, what the title, is exactly how I feel today and some of yesturday.

I am jealous that I broke and my roommate seems to have all this money.
I am jealous that she gets to go to europe this summer for 3600 dollars and i have no where close to that just sitting around.
I am jealous of my boyfriend ex, because she was engaged to him and i just not.
I am jealous.. and i hate it

Saw my doctor. She kept asking things.

How have things been?
Ehh.. Alright, I guess. Bit hard. I can't stop thinking about blood. I want it all to stop. It's been so much harder than I'll ever let you or anyone else know.

Have you found yourself feeling a quite down a lot of the time?
Yeah. All I do is cry. I'm running out of reasons to smile.

What about sleeping, how's that been?
Difficult, I can't get to sleep at night and then...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topics of puberty and growing up in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EST), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PST). All you have to do to take part is log into the...

I think that the fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something, we learn wisdom and how to do things from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we can not do.
To do this we have to forget about the consequences of failure. Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success.