So I think I am going to "update" on here every night. It seems to...soothe?...me. So here I go. Today was another great day. School was great. I'm great. My Taco Bell was great.(; My mom is doing great...Okay, you get it. Anyways...of course, to ruin my great mood....My boyfriend's cousin started a rumor saying that Shaq (the boyfriend) had sex with my friend Ashlyn, on Tuesday night. Too bad I was with him ALL DAY AND NIGHT ON TUESDAY!, so there is no way in hell he did it. And plus,...

I am fast giving up on life right now. I don't see the point i can't take much more. It seems like everyone is out to get me. I'm on the edge and there all chanting me to jump. Well why don't i? I have stayed dtrong for me but i'm not worth this anymore. Everyone just keeps telling me what a selfish wast of space i am....so i calved selfish bitch into my arm. Just to remind me. I know i'm stupid and horrible and worthless. I don't need to be told i wish they would just get off my case for once ...

I stopped cutting. I brought the knife back downstairs and into the kitchen where it belongs. But now I feel like crying. It's a bitter-sweet victory...

Okay. So today was an amazing day! School was great. Home was great. Dinner was great. Shaq is great! I talked to him on the phone for like 3 hours & did not ONCE argue. I babysat my little one year old cousin, and everything was just so....wonderful. Then, my "other mom" called and told me that her daughter (my former friend) had another "miscarriage". She faked one about two months ago and expected me not to get mad after KNOWING I had a miscarriage on Easter of last year....

Some quotes, hope you like them! ;

'We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. '

'If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking...

Saw my doctor again yesterday. She eventually printed off a prescription for some fluoxythingy I can't even pronounce. At the time, I told her I didn't mind if she put me on meds. But now I don't know.
At night, all I can think is fat, ugly, disgusting, pathetic. Can't do anything right. Failure. So stupid you're failing a course you shouldn't even be doing because it's academically below you.
I keep asking myself why I'm still alive. I really don't know.
Was half dreaming,...

So todays been one of those days again. Everything is going wrong. I just want a hug and to be told everythings going to be ok. I miss my friend like hell. I still can't get over the fact she's not here. I need her right now more than ever theres so much going on i can't handle on my own. I would do anything to have her back. I just feel so lonley and useless. Maybe there right i should just die. I know it should be me who dead and not her sometimes lifes just not fair. Sometimes i wonder why i...

Life is a struggle and sometimes no matter how hard it is we have to let go, not just for us but the people around us. Sometimes it means doing what is best for the people we love and not nessesarily ourselves. Sometimes it may mean giving up on things you feel you need really badly; giving up doesn't always show weakness, sometimes it just shows your strong enough to let go.
I just wanted to share some quotes about moving on;

'Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always...

Ha okay daily journal isn't going very well6 days since the last one.


I will try

So, today was an alright day. Didn't do squat, once again. What a 3-day weekend, right? Blah. Right now, I'm watching American Dad, laying in bed, and wearing my boyfriend's shirt. Why I felt the need to say that, who knows? Anyways...I am hoping to make new friends on here. (Random thought --->) Time is kind of flying by. I am 16 already. I am graduating next year. I got nominated to be in a scholarship program. I get my license in April. My 2 year anniversary is coming up in May. Shaq (the...