I just got back from placement. They sent me home after I almost passed out/threw up in the dining room while the residents were having breakfast. One of the dining ladies got Kerry. She told me to come to the staff room with her. Just shook my head. Everything was dark and I felt like I was dreaming. She stood me up anyway and took me. Felt so sick. Kept coughing. She told me my heart was racing and left me there. Sat for over an hour in the staff room before my supervisor drove me home.
...

I want to move out. Badly. Except I don't have anywhere to go. My friend was supposed to be leaving school this year and getting a flat, if she was still doing that, which she isn't, I'd get whatever job I could and see if she'd let me move in with her and help with the bills and shit. But she isn't until next year at least which is wonderful. Not. I refuse to wait a year for this.
Mum just had a go at me for sleeping in the same bed as my girlfriend last week. I'm 18 for God's sake. She...

So, this week has been dragging a bit. I have been extremely tired, but I don't know why. Like, I know I stayed up extremely late on the weekend, but I slept all night on Sunday. Monday when I got home from school, I took a nap, then went to bed at like 10. Yesterday, I came home and slept til 7, woke up, ended up falling asleep at 9, woke up again and went back to bed at like 11. Then todayyyy, my mother let me skip school and go to my boyfriend's house. We slept literally ALL day. Haha. We watched...

I got thinking today. Realised that as of June this year, it'll be 4 years since things really started. Funny to think that it's been 4 years since I had lunch at school/college on a regular basis. Now it's just once every few weeks if I feel like it. Haven't had breakfast for longer than a few days in a row since I was 10. The friends who knew about it kept trying to make me eat. They'd get food and sit staring at me, refusing to let either of us move until I'd eaten. One of them called me "borderline...

Some quotes inspirational quotes about staying strong. I hope they help someone

''There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.'' ~ Elbert Hubbard

"Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves."

"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you."...

The only reason I'm not cutting right now is cause theres no more room....

I can't handle this anymore. Too many people think I'm fine. Too many people are counting on me. Too many people are hurting me. When will this end? Will it ever end?

I guess seeing the doctor on a "good" day wasn't necessarily the best idea. Then again, I can't really tell in advance which days will be good and which won't. Suppose it's safe to say that no, I don't feel safe at home on my own. I don't feel safe on my own at all. I just want to hurt and hide and break down completely. Except that I'm never in a position where I feel safe enough to do that.
I'll have 3 full days and a couple of hours on Friday home alone. The possibilities of...

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February 11th: ELIMINATE: Domestic violence is devastating for all who experience it. End the cycle of abuse today! http://bit.ly/f1i4pY

So, my weekend was pretty great. Got to stay the night with Shaq. He got his hair done, and he looks even more handsome. (: I didn't want to leave today. I wish I could of stayed longer. Oh well, at least I got to stay the night. I am so tired though. We stayed up til like 6, and I had to be up by 12. But I was up way before that, because his brother had some friends over and they were being extra loud and what not. And when I did get to sleep, I would get too hot, then I would get too cold. So...