Everything is always my fault. You can never take responsibility for anything. You can't admit just once that it's your fault can you? I'm ungrateful? Okay sure, let's say that I am. Who's fault is it? Of course it's mine. I raised my self remember. You were to busy doing whatever the fuck you were doing. I can't believe you made me feel like this again. After all the progress I've made, now I'm back to square one. I've never felt like running away more then I do right now. Bags packed and ready....

Last night I realized that, maybe, I just might be, a bisexual girl trapped in a guy's body, I'm scared and feel alone I don't know what to do...

Can't do anything right, can I? Saw my doctor today. I had a list of thing she needed to know on a small bit of paper. But I sat and fidgeted with it the whole time.
Told her I overdosed again. Refused another blood test. She gave me a booklet with some numbers in it. Said to call one of them if I wanted to overdose again.
She knows I'm still cutting but doesn't seem hugely concerned about it. Luckily. Couldn't find the words to tell her I don't feel safe when I'm home on my own....

Sooo should i cast a hex on the guy who got me suspended....? I was studying Wicca but then I decided to just drop the Wiccan stuff but still study Witchcraft (yes I know that is very bad and immoral and blah blah blah I DON'T CARE. But I do what I do cause it suits what I need done, I am a very selfish person when it comes to revenge but when it comes to helping the people I care about I'm selfLESS.) So anywaysssss, hex or curse? and which one?

Sooooo, I was SUSPENDED from school and I'm also grounded for a week. How fun?

Sorry I've been gone. I've been going over a bunch of issues, mainly including
1) My computer being a total jackass
and
2) My (ex)girlfriend broke up with me a while back and i've been pretty depressed about it.
But, yeah. I'm back. Only my biting issues have gotten...I'm not sure wether you can call them better or worse.
I dont bite /as much/, but now, when I do, I bite down as hard as I can until I start gagging. So...yeah.

*Sigh*
ah,...

I strive for perfection, but I always fall short. I don't want to be here anymore. My strength is dwindling, my castle is crumbling, and my faith has diminished,but you still don't hear my call for help. I've fallen into the ocean and I'm drowning, but no one will rescue me. I'm not scared to die though; if anything I'm ready.Ready to leave the place that has broken me, made me feel worthless and insecure, hurt me, killed me already.I want to be gone; disappear into the night. Make everyone feel...

I'm too tired for this shit. I think I'll just OD on my Adderall tonight. Who knows? Maybe, hopefully, I'll die.

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
hurt myself again today
and the worst part is there's no one else to blame.

Blood on my hand again. And over my other leg. They're both a bit messy. The blood made me smile. I felt so alive for that one moment. And it felt so. Good. Kind of looking forward to tomorrow. Home alone. I can cut as deep as I want and I'll have plenty of time alone to clean it up.

Now the after effect is settling...

I'm losing friends, I barely have any left.... i need help