I had an amazing day today. I didn't even feel a little depressed. I want this to last, but I know tomorrow I'm gonna crash so hard. Time to sleep the pain away. YAY!! =]

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There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of eating disorders in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PDT). All you have to do to take part is log into the Chat Room at...

I sit and stare at the blank wall, wondering what has become of me. Wondering how things have changed so much. I know change is a part of life, but it just seems that mine has changed so drasticly. Maybe its because of all I went through with Ashley. I logged onto my myspace tonight for the first time in months and I realized that I was no longer anywhere near how I used to be.

The changes are as glaring as they are astonishing. In a way I wish things hadn't changed as much as they...

Have to leave in 15 minutes. Still in bed. Can't deal with placement. But I can't stay home again. Want to cut more. Got blood everywhere last night. Felt so good. More. Deeper.
Don't want to do this. Keep thinking about overdosing again. Just to get out of it.
Need to get over myself. Just do it, dammit. Get up and go. Stop thinking about it.
So pathetic.

So I could of swore that I put on here about my boyfriend breaking up with me, wanting to be friends, getting a girlfriend 5 days later, treating me like shit and now not talking to me, but I guess not. That kind of summed it up, but yeah he has been acting like a total ass to me. Almost 2 years of dating, and he does this. He gets a girl that lives in Texas. He told me he couldn't handle a long distance relationship. When I had a talk with him about how I wanted to marry him and have kids with...

Then she closed her eyes
found relief in a knife
the blood flows as she cries.

Got a craft knife yesterday. Looked sharp. Came with 6 replacement blades. But it doesn't work.
I sat in the shower. Running it repeatedly over the same spot. Digging deeper. And it didn't work.
WHY WON'T IT BLEED MORE.
Why can't I make it bleed more.
Guess I'll just have to keep trying.
Done with everything. Want to drink and overdose and cut.
I'm

...

everyone hates my girlfriend. including my 2 best friends (girls) and my girlfriend hates both of them, and im afraid that one of those 2 groups will make me choose between them, and ik ill pick my friends. but i dont want to

Somewhere too far for us to find
forgotten the taste and smell
of the world that she's left behind.

I don't know where I am. I feel like I'm stuck at a dead end with nowhere to go. I need to get out of here for a while. But everyone seems so set against me studying in England. My tutor thinks I'm not well enough. My dad thinks it's stupid.

...

Met with Shona and Ann this morning. Was a waste of time. Shona kept saying that I'm not well and need to get better before I can do another course at college. I told her I want to move to England to study psychology and got a lecture on how pointless that would be.
I've already decided I want to go. I need to get away. I need to live my own life the way I want to. I'm sick of taking the safe option. I want to take some risks and benefit from them. I really think I could do better when I'm

...

365 days and 19 hours ago I honestly thought I'd never wake up if I fell asleep.
I can't believe it was a year ago. It doesn't feel that long since I wanted to die. At the same time, feels like this has been going on forever.
If I had died, I wonder what would have happened.
If it had worked, I wonder who'd have noticed.