Working today. Really can't be bothered. Still so tired. Didn't sleep well.
Blades are coming to work with me. Won't go without them. Even if I don't use them, I refuse to not have them with me. Wouldn't be the first time I've hidden in a toilet to cut. Maybe this time the bleeding will take longer to stop. Maybe it won't stop at all.
One can only hope.

This is my first blog....well for this profile.

I was going to come back to TH on my old profile, LillyWren.....but then I realized I forgot my password and I also switched emails. SO I was pretty much screwed.

It's good to be back and now that I have internet at my home I will be on more often, so I guess I'll actually get to know people on here.

My name is Ashley, and I'm happy to be back.

Nightmare. Was on this little island. Was tiny. A dead seagull fell down in front of me. I thought a bigger bird just got it. But then another one fell. And another. I could see small bullet holes and blood on them. I was scared. Decided to swim back to mainland. Wasn't that far. I kept seeing birds fall down dead in front of me. A swan had a small hole in it's head. It just flopped back and it just lay there. I had to swim through a group of dead ducklings. Except they were twice the

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Because of you.

So tired.
Doesn't matter how much I sleep, it makes no difference. I'm exhausted again hours after I wake up.
Seriously considering just going to sleep for a couple of hours just now. Parents have a thing about eating around midnight on a Saturday, my brother and I tend to steal their food. That and mum's all weird because she hasn't seen me eat today.
I'm...

I went hairdressers today and I got a side fringe... it's the first time I've had a fringe and it's harder for me because I have curly hair. For once I actually feel good about myself... if actually looks ok and everyone seems to like it. I mean it will be different when I do my own hair but it's good I have the potential to look decent.. It was well scary when she cut it but I'm glad she did!

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I do voulntary work at a charity shop near my school... It's not that bad but today I finished my usual jobs early and had to help sort out... there was this keyring... a guiniess one and I looked at it, I played with it for a bit and realized it had a small knife in it... nobody was watching me and I slipped it in my pocket... I feel so guilty and I don't know what to do... I've always had urges to steal things and when I was younger I stole things a lot... but what's worse is I'm taking money...

Had placement today. One of the carers said I needed to roll up my sleeves. I said I couldn't. That I couldn't have short sleeves and it was a long story. So she basically reported me to my supervisor. I walked past and they were talking about it. I told him the same thing and he said I could keep the long sleeves as long as they were at my wrist and I kept my hands and wrists clean. I was so scared he'd ask to see my arms and I'd have to tell him. He didn't.
Shona came and we talked

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Grrrr... I'm such an idiot! I was walking to the bus stop and the stress of everything (especially my English stress) was getting to me and I cut on the palm of my hand... it bled for ages which was good and made me feel fresh... but now I have to make sure I keep my hand balled... I mean it's easy to cover but such a pain... and honey/exfoliating is not working!!!!! I guess I'll have to try something else soon...! Life sucks!