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For those of you who haven't been following our Social Networking pages, this is what we've been posting about over the last month:

March 1st: AWARENESS: Self harm isolates the millions living with it. Learn how to break the silence today! http://bit.ly/hJvAUa

March 6th: SEX:...

Today was my last day at placement for a few weeks. I'm scared about going back. One of the residents is effectively dying and I know when I go back he'll more than likely have gone. It's hard. I couldn't work in there on a permanent basis, I get too attached to the residents. And I really like D. Last week I was having a conversation when behind me, D started singing "It's a long wayyyyy to Tipperaryyyyy..." Whenever you get him on the stand aid to move him from his chair to another

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I feel like shit! I hate my life... I get told to go shopping to get stuff and then blamed when I don't go to my volunteer placement bearing in ming I forgot because I got told to go shopping and then blamed... Everyone knows I can't remember anything! I'm such an idiot... and i just wasted £10 on stuff for scars, strech marks, dry skin etc... when I could have got something just for scars but stupid me didn't read the bloody bottle! God I'm just a prat! And what's more the oil STINKS so everyones...

I had a really bad relapse today. Made myself sick :/ I haven't eaten since sunday. Then i eat and i make myself sick. I feel so stupid. All i seem to do nowadays is cut, starve myself and just hurt myself. I hate this. I know i need to change but i'm so scared to. I mean this is who i have been for so long. I don't know who i am if i stop this. People are starting to realise things are bad. I don't want anyone to know. So what if i have anorexia? So what if i have constant thoughts of killing myself....

placement today. don't want to go. dont want to deal with it. ordered blades online last night. sharp. surgical. dangerous.
dont want to try anymore. so sick of feeling like this all the time. want it to stop.
blades coming with me. can't be without it. can't do this. don't make me.

So tired. I dreamt that I was at the top of the stairs in my grandad's house. He was trying to hurt me. I thought he was going to kill me. I pushed him away from me and he tumbled down the stairs really quickly, hit his head off something at the bottom and skidded across the carpet. He was dead. I tried to call an ambulance or something but every time I dialled 999

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I'm really struggling right now . I feel reallly low and i don't even know why. I felt really happy all of last week for no reason and i want to go back to that feeling
I am so angry with myself right now, i cut for the first time in almost 2 weeks. I'm so weak. I can't do anything right
I don't want to eat anymore. I hate the feeling and i always feel disgusting, fat and unlovable afterwards. I can't sleep anymore i just lie there and think of how i can end it all and...

This made me laugh so much today. I was standing with my friend and her boyfriend and we were talking about parents.
Hazel: Louise's mum doesn't really like her having a girlfriend.
Gary. Why not?
Me: My parents are religious...
Gary: Is your mum on the pill?
Me: Um...I think so.
Gary: Right, when you get in from college, you go up to her and you say "Mum, I might like to munch carpets but at least I'm not on birth control!"

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Sitting in college. Trying to stay awake. Today's been so long already. Cut this morning. Argued with mum. Walked to Asda and got a new pencil sharpener, pliers and a first aid kit. Had all my blades in my pocket already.
Walked to the graveyard and cried. Just lay on the ground there for a while.
Walked to a park round the corner from my old school. Sat there and took the blades out of the sharpener. Sat on the swing for a while. Just swinging and staring at the ground.

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