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Old

Blades. (trig)

Posted March 31st 2011 at 11:37 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Blades came in today. Only 5 of them. Disposable. Doesn't mean they can't be recycled and used again. And again. And again.
I'm home alone tomorrow. I'm kind of afraid. I know I have to get on the wii to see if I lost anything. And I know I'll more than likely have gained weight. If I have I'll cut and overdose and refuse to eat. I can't gain anymore. I won't.
So triggered tonight. Trying to hide it. I want to cut deep and not think about the consequences. I want the blood
...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Old

Social Networking: Monthly Roundup.

Posted March 31st 2011 at 12:00 PM by TeenHelp (Project Blog)

Source: Social Networking | Facebook | Twitter | To get the most up-to-date information, follow one of our Social Networking pages!

Social Networking: Monthly Roundup.

For those of you who haven't been following our Social Networking pages, this is what we've been posting about over the last month:

March 1st: AWARENESS: Self harm isolates the millions living with it. Learn how to break the silence today! http://bit.ly/hJvAUa

March 6th: SEX:...
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Old

Hm.

Posted March 30th 2011 at 06:27 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck


Today was my last day at placement for a few weeks. I'm scared about going back. One of the residents is effectively dying and I know when I go back he'll more than likely have gone. It's hard. I couldn't work in there on a permanent basis, I get too attached to the residents. And I really like D. Last week I was having a conversation when behind me, D started singing "It's a long wayyyyy to Tipperaryyyyy..." Whenever you get him on the stand aid to move him from his chair to another
...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Old

Fuck

Posted March 30th 2011 at 05:48 PM by Troubled_Heart

I feel like shit! I hate my life... I get told to go shopping to get stuff and then blamed when I don't go to my volunteer placement bearing in ming I forgot because I got told to go shopping and then blamed... Everyone knows I can't remember anything! I'm such an idiot... and i just wasted £10 on stuff for scars, strech marks, dry skin etc... when I could have got something just for scars but stupid me didn't read the bloody bottle! God I'm just a prat! And what's more the oil STINKS so everyones...
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Used to be Ianto Jones
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Old

time to change? (Triggering)

Posted March 30th 2011 at 04:39 PM by Anatidaephobia
Updated March 30th 2011 at 04:44 PM by Palmolive (Adding Prefix)

I had a really bad relapse today. Made myself sick :/ I haven't eaten since sunday. Then i eat and i make myself sick. I feel so stupid. All i seem to do nowadays is cut, starve myself and just hurt myself. I hate this. I know i need to change but i'm so scared to. I mean this is who i have been for so long. I don't know who i am if i stop this. People are starting to realise things are bad. I don't want anyone to know. So what if i have anorexia? So what if i have constant thoughts of killing myself....
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Old

Placement

Posted March 30th 2011 at 07:46 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck


placement today. don't want to go. dont want to deal with it. ordered blades online last night. sharp. surgical. dangerous.
dont want to try anymore. so sick of feeling like this all the time. want it to stop.
blades coming with me. can't be without it. can't do this. don't make me.
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Old

More nightmares. Fml.

Posted March 29th 2011 at 12:43 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

So tired. I dreamt that I was at the top of the stairs in my grandad's house. He was trying to hurt me. I thought he was going to kill me. I pushed him away from me and he tumbled down the stairs really quickly, hit his head off something at the bottom and skidded across the carpet. He was dead. I tried to call an ambulance or something but every time I dialled 999
...
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Old

>.<

Posted March 28th 2011 at 08:32 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck


Feels like I can't do anything right.
I should have let that car hit me today.
Or lay down at the furthest corner of the graveyard and waited to die.
Bought pills and alcohol and taken them together.
Cut too deep over as many veins as I could find.
Why didn't I? I had the chances.
I have more chances tomorrow. This time I'll take them. Home alone all day. So much at my disposal.
...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Old

Struggling

Posted March 28th 2011 at 06:12 PM by Anatidaephobia

I'm really struggling right now . I feel reallly low and i don't even know why. I felt really happy all of last week for no reason and i want to go back to that feeling
I am so angry with myself right now, i cut for the first time in almost 2 weeks. I'm so weak. I can't do anything right
I don't want to eat anymore. I hate the feeling and i always feel disgusting, fat and unlovable afterwards. I can't sleep anymore i just lie there and think of how i can end it all and...
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Old

College fun.

Posted March 28th 2011 at 04:25 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck


This made me laugh so much today. I was standing with my friend and her boyfriend and we were talking about parents.
Hazel: Louise's mum doesn't really like her having a girlfriend.
Gary. Why not?
Me: My parents are religious...
Gary: Is your mum on the pill?
Me: Um...I think so.
Gary: Right, when you get in from college, you go up to her and you say "Mum, I might like to munch carpets but at least I'm not on birth control!"
...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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