Well, I guess I have a boyfriend kinda. As you can see I haven't changed my relationship status, even though we have been dating for a week.

My problem is, is that it's a long distance relationship. It's over the Internet and I don't know if it will work out. I don't have a home phone, we got rid of it because of telemarketers, prank callers, and my last boyfriend, who was a crazy stalker. Also I don't have a cellphone.

I also don't believe I'm cut out for long distance...

Why did i let them all move back in with me? >_<

My mom has done nothing but clean and shout at me, my bf just got annoyed at me for telling him he can't walk around the house naked anymore My parents keep arguing about my training and whether i can race anymore.

I was so glad to be out of hospital, but now i wish i was just by myself, so i can just curl up and cry...i want this to end...

It never lasts, the feelings, they always come back and they get worse. There's no way out for me, I always feel worse and worse and worse. When i try and help it they fight back, when I do what feels right, it's wrong. I'm hated and unloved, people don't care about me, I'm just a joke. They avoid me, they don't want to know me, they can't face the facts, I'm a mess. I cut again, I hadn't...

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im pretty sure i had an anxiety attack while i was switching personalities, i was on the verge of passing out, and i almost couldnt switch back. iv only had it done once, Seth pushed me back and locked me up. and Seth wasnt doing that...help?

I always told myself i would be a better person. That i wouldn't end up like him. That i would be better than he said i was. I guess he was right. He said i was a lier. Well i am i am lying saying that i'm ok so that people will leave me alone and i can be free to destroy myself however i want to. He said i was a bad person, well thats certainly true. I am horrible. I hate today. Tomorrow will...

I cried last night and I couldn't stop. It was horrible but refreshing... I think I stayed up half the night, unable to rid the tears that fell from my eyes. I feel different today, stronger! It's a good feeling, just ignoring the bad stuff and focusing on what's good. I never cry, not ever, but it's something I would reccomend, a new start to me, I hope this feeling lasts, it's pretty spectacular.

I don't want to be pregnant but I'm scared of getting plan b by myself.
I'm seriously terrified.
I can't be, can I?
It's low risk.
But there's still a chance.
Am I gonna be a mum?
I should get plan b.
But I'm scared.
Am I more scared of being pregnant?
No, I'm more scared of walking into a shop and talking to someone.

There is so much going on in my head i feel like it's going to explode. Can't handle this much longer.

This week just keeps getting worse. I'm scared that on monday i won't go to my exam. There is a railways about 5 minutes away from the school. I can't fail if i go there. Shouldn't be alone right now. But i am lying to everyone. "I'm ok" Yeah you're so stupid. People are so gullable sometimes....