its been almost a year since Dannymarie came into my life and changed it forever<3

I dont my mother anymore
Did I even know her at all?
i look at her facebook pictures and realize the face is a stranger
Not that I care anyway
I dont even know my little sister RaeRae or my little brother Boon..
What has this come to?
Their getting sucked into mothers lies
And i cant do anything
I promise I will go to court when I am 18 and you will be mine
But thats 4 yrs from now..
And Im terrified..Its already too late.....

Even though I really love you...Im going to smile because I deserve to.
AND you just might be right, goodbye is a second chance...
But, you said goodbye when I never left. You didnt say goodbye when I really left.
NOW, you want to talk to me, but I just gave up already.
Dont take it the wrong way-I love you so much. I want to marry you and have kids.
But I just cant do this anymore....
Maybe I need to think. Maybe I need to get away for awhile.
I...

http://www.vevo.com/watch/rise-again...=instantsearch

this is an anti suicide video, and anti bullying and such, the video its self is very triggering, the lyrics, are somewhat triggering so if you get triggered easily i dont suggest you watch it

the girl i love, her rapist got out of jail a couple days ago, shes in pain, i can tell, she wont admit it, but she is.

I've just applied to be a buddy.
I hope I get the position.
I tried really hard on that form.

I hate it here!
I just want to leave now, better or not!

Just stop talking to me mom, stop telling me how stupid i am. Don't you think i already know that...

Why did they have to find me, why couldn't they have let me go.. it would have hurt less..

I feel like i'm getting worse, i want them to leave me so i can just go, but they won't >_< there's no point, they know i'm just going to try again at some point :/

you can never completely leave an addiction behind, i know people hear this a lot, but until you've experienced it, you don't know what its like, smelling the smell of the powder, feeling the metal against your skin, inhaling the smoke, feeling the warmth go down your throat....

I don't want to go to the school prom. That might sound like the least of my worries right now, but the cuts on my arm and shoulder will show, which will spoil the night for my boyfriend, and everyone will think I'm just attention seeking.

I wanted to take a load of pills. Overdose on something. I don't know why. Just so something can happen, I guess. Instead of constantly feeling like I'm suspended between emotions. Then if I die, no more feeling trapped. And if I live, then someone...

fuck love, just really, fuck it, im sick and tired of either a)getting played or b)having to share you, so either make up your goddamn fucking mind or im gone, ughhhhhh!