Danny has no memory of me whatsoever, i dont know if shes faking it or not, i want her back, but i cant, and so im depressed as fuck, not to mention people are assholes and need to shut the fuck up.

She feels the pain
Deep inside
With no place to run
And no place to hide
No one to help her
An no one she can confide
Seeming theres no other option
It leads to self destruction
*
It weakens the mind but strenghtens the soul*
After all that you've been through still nothing*to show
But a sickened mind and an unforgiving heart
Tell me, who were you before the start
Of the anger, misery and pain
Crushing...

Blocking the outside world from my dark mind
Can't last forever
But this escape is better than reality
So I let it take over
Sometimes I just don't want to stay strong
Are these feelings so wrong?
I pull the knife across my skin
Lift the bottle to my lips
Swallow the pills and take a hit
Sorry I'm not good enough to deal with your shit
Here comes the end
I can see it now
Darkness swallowing me
Numbness the...

I have to stay strong
I cannot show you my weakness*
Can't show you my fear
Can't show you these tears
As your speach slurs
I see the darkness in your eyes
You pour the poisen down your throat
And out come the lies
You start to argue*
I become the adult*
Forced to be mature
Childhood a blur
I can't remember true happiness
It must be bliss
What does it feel like?
Can you tell me this?
Insomnia...

Arghhh Sixth Form induction today....

Can't face school...
Can't face the people....

People are just going to ask questions and the idiots are going to just call me names, I can't deal with it all today...
Maybe it's just me being stupid, i don't know anymore...

Thanks mum.

Yeah, I know.

I'm horrible.

Thanks for reminding me.

No one to talk to.

No contact.

What now?

Cut.

Cut. Cut. Cut.

Please. Just make it stop.

I want to die.

...

I'm going to do it... I'm going to admit to myself all my problem... And then they're going to disappear... Everything will be good again... Like when I was young!

Self Harm - The urges are tough, but I try and fight them, I only cut when it's life or death, I get myself low, as low as I can cope, and then I make it better, as better as it can get.

ED - I hide food, I bin food, I pour stuff down the sink, I 'forget' money, I exercise, I will get thin! I can't decide what...

Oh god. I can smell food.
I've already over eaten today.
I need to stop. I need to get out of here. It's killing me.
But I'll feel so guilty.
I don't know what to do.
Help. Help me.
I can smell it, wafting up the stairs.
I'm going to shut the door. Open the windows. Get rid of the smell. Just stop it. Stop it. Stop cooking. Please, dad. Just stop.
Exercise. I'll exercise. And then I'll tidy my room. And write that story. And ignore the food....