I'm talking on the childline chat thing and I've put the pills away for now.

How did I get this low?

What if I just overdosed now? I have some codeine. I could easily take it. Probably throw it up again, but hey, I deserve that.

Stupid woman. Cancelling my babysitting job without telling me, so I go all the way out there, it's a long way, to find no one in the house. We ring her friend, who rings the kids' stepmum, who tells us they're with the grandparents and the woman doesn't need me anyway.

Would have been nice to fucking tell me.

So thanks for that. Stupid woman.

I get the message i know exactly what you're trying to say. I just wish people would come out and say it. Noone wants me around. I can't say i blame anyone but thats how it feels whereever i go, whoever i'm with. I'm sick of feeling so alone. So lost. I need someone but i have noone. I've pushed everyone away. The only thing i have left is my blade.
I'm terrified about things. I don't want to face this week, especially not alone but it's not like i have much choice. Maybe i should just listen...

She always gets in the way. Always.
I want to do something which is just mine. But No.
I want to start my own buisness. She Has To Take Over.
I want to make my own buisness. She Has To Have A Piece Of It.
I ask for her help, only her help, but she now wants to be in the buisness, start it up and have it all for herself. I'm not letting her. She can have her own buisness but not mine, I'm staying away from anything like hers, I'm not living my life with her, I'm getting...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of building confidence and self-esteem in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PDT). All you have...

I know I made a blog earlier but I need to tell somebody.

My dad just called me from jail. "Dre its your father...I'm getting out soon...I'm going to bail your brother out so we can be a family again...*laughs hysterically*" I'll never forget that. He fucking laughed. We were never a family, I've never had a family. I will kill myself before I'll ever live with them again. (He didn't get charged for my rape, there wasn't enough evidence)
I'm cutting more than ever....

So if you haven't guessed I'm grounded. I went to a party with some friends (I use the term friends loosely) and we ended up getting drunk and high:P And when I got home Bill and Debbie got all upset, So now I'm stuck in my room. I don't see why they got so upset, It's not like they didn't expect this from me. Ugh, I'm not used to getting grounded, it sucks.
Oh and on top of that Jamie's not allowed to talk to me while I'm grounded. Which sucks. But I'm still allowed to have my cat Which...

Argh, I can't do this anymore! I just cause arguments and things would just be easier without me >_<
Apparantly I don't help as a staffie, as i've been told many time,so obviously there is no point anymore, i may as well just give up.

You're pathetic Charli...

If I resigned now, no one would notice I had gone. I could resign and then just leave the account. No one would care.

I could do that to all of my online accounts. Just disappear from the internet.

I wish I could do that in real life.

I wish I could disappear.