Everything was doing so good. But then I realized, The one person I trusted with everything doesn't give a fuck about me anymore. I don't know what to do. She literally knows everything about me, she got me to trust her, acted like she cared, and now when I need her, she's gone.
And Leda's pregnant, who knows who the father is but I'm an idiot so I'm going to end up babysitting the kid all the time and practically be its dad. I can see it happening.
Oh joy.

I have been cutting myself for almost 6 years now. But, I have been clean for about a month. Yay!
I started because a "friend" told me that it would help me feel better. So, I tried it. I just needed something to take the pain away. And it did. Everytime I did it, I became numb. It felt good. If I didn't do it deep enough, though, I would be in pain. So I have always made sure to cut deep. :\

1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
3. What is your motivation to recover?
4. Do you consider yourself “addicted”? why or why not?
5. What part of self harm do you dislike the most?
6. What about it do you enjoy?
7. list 10 activities that help you calm down.

8. What the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about self harm?

9. Have you ever...

Past few days have made me think about a lot of things.

Do i really even matter?
Do i make a difference?
Would anyone really care if i wasn't around anymore?

Fell over today...
More to say me and a friend ran into each other and I ended up on the floor :P
It's not that we randomly felt like running into each other, we were playing netball and both of us playing centre wanted to win
Well yeah, we were desperate to get the ball and we ran into each other in the process...
Well, I'm the smaller one and thus ended on the floor...
Kinda embaressing, they were like 'omg look at your leg... Are you ok? Are you sure you're ok?...

So ive taken this stupid test 4 times. 74% 74% 69% and today i got a 74%! why the hell cant i pass this test!!?? I just want my permit!

I feel so fat.

I honestly don't know what to do. I've barely eaten all day, I've eaten the bear minimum today and I feel so faint and dizzy but I still feel huge. And whenever I look at myself I can just see this huge stomach sticking out. I hate it.

I couldn't even bring myself to eat a bit of carrot.

And soon I'm going to have to go down and face dinner. I don't know how I'm going to cope.

I want to cut so badly but I know I shouldn't....

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September 25th: CARE: Family members play a vital role as carers for many vulnerable children, but often lack the support they need. http://bit.ly/nXwJcd

Crying. Crying & crying. Nothing more, nothing less.
Bryan got over me. I don't know how, but I think that was the final thing I needed to break. This has been a horrible week.
Got punched in the eye, by a guy, another guy dislocated my wrist then snapped it back together, then I fell, fillpped, skiinned my leg, bruised my thigh, and waist bone. A friend of mine lied about rape with another friend of mine. They both got suspened, & Mi might have to go to court for them, which...

I found out how to make an appointment with the school nurse today in assembly. I wasn’t 100 percentage sure in what people were meant to see her for but it turns out depression is allowed. She also said that unless we’re in danger she won’t spill, so I think if I really need someone to talk to in real life I’ll be fine. I just would have to be careful not to say too much, that would be a disaster.
Anyway, I think I’ll be ok. I’m doing not that bad now, well I think not that bad. Sometimes...