I feel so empty and numb. I just don't know what I am supposed to do anymore. I'm never going to be good enough. Im so tired of people lying to me and saying that I am pretty. That they'll be there when I need them. That they care about me. I'm sick of all the lies.

I'm sure a little slut. Deserve to be punished. Need pain. Need to feel something. Giving up on life.

Been binging, put...

Feels somewhat significant. I'm not sure why.
Honestly I think I'm just counting the days till I get to 15. I only promised to get as far as that.

I've tried so hard not to give in up till now, this time next week I can do what I like. No more promises.

I'm just not ready to give up yet.

I'm sorry.

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I don't want to die today that's a lie
I don't want to die today
I don't want to die today
I don't want to die today
I don't want to die today
I don't want to die today
I don't want to die today...

I dont know what too do anymore.
I can never stop crying. This is it. This it damn it! I'm done. No more eating. No more sleeping. No more talking.
Kill me.

...

I don't want this anymore.
I am a lie.
I am a big FAKE.
I will never be able to redeem the old me.
So, I kept the lies there.
But they just kept getting bigger.
I am a slut, a skank, a whore, a slut, a bitch, a cunt, I am all the bad things in the world.
Nobody need to care anymore-as if they did.
I just want to die.
Death is so easy.
Life is nothing to me anymore.
I have decided not to live.
What is it worth?...

I remembered something randomly at college today and it's been bothering me all day.
Before we started high school, my cousin told me I wasn't allowed to tell anyone at the new school we were cousins. When I asked her why she just shrugged and said "I don't want them to know I'm related to someone so weird."

I've never been good at talking to people or making the first move. 9 times out of 10 I make friends with the wrong people and end up getting myself hurt. At...

I feel so bad for ranting on freahman. And Shay. She is like a really good friend I just blew some steam though.
It is ok right!?!
Someone tell me It was okay?!
Other then that...

I am so damn glad my thoughts are ranted on here then actually said to the person. Then I would be supperrr guilty I would cry :O !
Mmm.

All I did was tell you the truth. You asked me && I told you. I told you he was going to break up with you. That's what he told me! I have the messages! I have the damn proof! What do you have?
No proof!
So, you shot back with fire. Told me Eskie likes a bisexual girl. Liar! Stupid freshman!
How could you do that to me?
You are SO full of yourself.
You have a dad. You have mom. You got friends. You are gorgous. What the hell is your problem!?
Maybe...